~By the Lion's Mane: The Call~

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Eight

I waited about thirty minutes before saying, “I’m going to go talk to him,” to the others.

I made my way below deck to his cabin. I knocked softly on the door and asked, “Caspian? May I speak with you?”

There was a muffled response, so I took a chance and pushed the door open. Caspian was sitting on his berth, his head in his hands.

“Caspian?” I asked again.

“Aslan has spoken to me,” he said suddenly. “That golden lion’s head on the wall came to life and spoke to me. It was terrible-- his eyes. Not that he was at all rough with me, just a bit stern at first. But it was awful all the same. And he said-- he said…” He shook his head as he broke off.

I said with my heart pounding in my chest, even as I already knew the answer, “What did he say?” I tried to keep my voice from trembling.

Caspian looked at me, but it was like he could see right through me. He knew what I was thinking. “He said that they’re to go on. Reep and Eustace and Lucy and Edmund, and I—I am to go back to Narnia. Alone, and as soon as we’ve seen them safely to the end.”

Even though I’d known it was coming, it was still like a knife to the heart. So soon. I supposed I would never again lay eyes on the golden shores, green forests, and blue peaks of Narnia, nor see the beloved castle of Cair Paravel. I felt a lump form in my throat as I thought of all of the friends I would be leaving behind when I went with the Pevensies from Narnia. But I swallowed it down. I was going with Edmund, and it would be worth leaving the country I loved so deeply, with every part of my heart, to be with him.

Wouldn’t it?

Of course, I chided myself. But as I stared at Caspian’s broad back before me as we made our way back up top, I knew that nothing about this parting would be easy, especially to leave such a dear friend like him behind. Not after he had been one of my only companions for the past three years.

The others ceased their talking and turned to us anxiously as we stepped out into the bright sun. I looked to Caspian, and he answered their questioning gazes.

“We are to sail no farther. We will take the rowboat as far as we can—“ the others nearly erupted into protests again before Caspian held up a hand to silence them, “—and then I shall return to the Dawn Treader and to Narnia. So Aslan has spoken.”

Lucy’s eyes lit up at the mention of His name. “Oh, Caspian, he’s spoken to you?”

My king nodded. “Through the golden lion’s head in my berth.”

Then he turned and addressed Drinian, who in turn instructed the crew to prepare to lower the rowboat.

In the bustle that followed, Edmund came to me. “I suppose you’d better pack your things then,” he told me softly, tracing my cheek with a finger. He gave me a smile, and then disappeared to carry out his own preparations.

I stood rooted to the spot a moment more, looking all around me. I took in the intense sunlight and the blue sky, inhaling the clean air untainted by machines and industry, and listened to all of the sounds of the ship-- from the shouts of the men in their blended Telmarine and Narnian accents to the creaks of the wood and lines. For a moment I felt as if I were going to suffocate when I thought of crowded London with her gray sky and gray people. Of the endless rain and cold, and the murky uncertainty of the future.

But I shook it off, and scurried below. I didn’t want to hold the others up.

I packed all of my clothes that I had brought with me, knowing even as I did it that none of them would be suitable in England. I made sure to pack in a small sack of gold coins, however, because I knew that even with their strange symbols, they would be sure to be worth a pretty amount.