~By the Lion's Mane: The Call~

Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty

I buried my fists in the white silk of Anduril’s mane as he loped through the trees with ease. Their barren branches allowed the first snow of the winter to fall dreamily down to catch in my hair as we went along at an easy canter.

We spent hours like this nearly every day. Out here, I could just be with my friend and give up all pretenses, letting the calm of the woods settle over me like a blanket or to drown out memories that would not give me any peace with the sounds of the unicorn’s thudding hoofbeats.

At last we came to our destination; a small clearing that contained many wildflowers in the warmer months, and where animal life often frequented. Now, the dormant vegetation was dusted with a light snow under a gray sky the color of a dove’s feathers.

I slid down from Andy’s back and wandered over to a rock and settled down, pulling my thick cloak around me to keep warm. From my small pack I removed a roughly-bound book and a pencil. Opening to a fresh page, I glanced around for inspiration.

Lately I had been going there to escape Cair Paravel and the gossip. However, I had grown bored of just sitting and musing, so I had taken up sketching again. After so many months, I had gotten out of practice and many of my drawings looked awkward and out of proportion. But I was getting the hang of it again.

I soon felt my mind beginning to grow drowsy. I was warm and cozy inside of my thick cloak, and before I knew it, I had drifted off to sleep, my paper and pencil lying across my lap.

I had a dream. But this dream was not like all of the many others I had had since coming home. Those had all been about Edmund, and had had a hazy, otherworldly quality about them.

But this dream was vivid and real. Aslan spoke to me.

I was in a forest, one I had never seen before, and somehow I knew I wasn’t in Narnia. The trees were huge and thick, their branches blocking out almost all sun and sound, and they seemed ancient and colossal from growing for centuries. Between them, beautiful rainbow colored birds with elaborate feathers darted in and out, their music filling the air. And then I heard the soft padding of paws behind me, and turned to face Aslan.

He was even bigger than I had last seen Him, His coat glowing as if the sun was shining its light directly upon Him.

“Aslan!” I cried delightedly, and ran to hug Him like a child runs to its father. He rolled over onto His side, His eyes laughing. “I’ve missed you,” I said, sitting on the ground in front of Him.

“And I you, Daughter,” He said. But then His demeanor changed and He became serious and sad.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Do you know why I have brought you here, Daughter?” He asked.

I shook my head. “N—no,” I said. Aslan studied me with His sad golden eyes before speaking again.

“You have disappointed me, Rose.” When He said that, it crushed me. I didn’t want to disappoint Him, ever. And when He said I had disappointed Him, it felt like all of the air had been sucked out of my lungs and my body turned to ice.

“Wh—what have I done to disappoint you?” I asked softly.

“You and Edmund indulged in a pleasure intended for a man and his wife. You both knew better,” He looked at me, His golden eyes showing the depth of His disappointment, and His voice like that of a parent sternly lecturing a child.

It was more than I could bear. I wanted to melt right into the ground with shame and guilt. I looked down at the grass, not able to meet his eyes for it.