Chapter 31 -- Badges of Honour

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Great Avatar, how much longer must we wait? Did Calchis truly forget to change her order to allow no one over the bridge, or did she seize on my predicament as an opportunity to be rid of us both?

Alyn could not remember how long ago they had arrived at Condor Way, but she knew that too many precious minutes had passed. The great drawbridge was operated by a spell that was changed daily and known only to the guard captain who set it. It had proved impossible to persuade her to lower the bridge.

A growing crowd of refugees had gathered on the other side of the river, hoping for sanctuary in Helion. Alyn had gathered her strength and wits long enough to plead with the captain face to face to lower the bridge in the name of mercy.

"If the Northlander horde comes looking for them, they will be slaughtered!"

"They may be Northlanders in disguise," the captain said, her lips pressed in a straight line.

"Most of them are mothers with children!"

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. Disguise spells can be very deceiving."

"So can fear!"

The captain was on the point of ejecting her forthwith from her command post, when she saw Alyn's simulacrum momentarily fade, and recognized her plight. She softened then, gave her visitor a camp bed to lie on, and summoned two others to help her with a stabilizing spell which Acontis was not allowed to witness.

"I have been as you are now, and know what you face," the captain told Alyn after the spell was set, "but I am sworn to obey my orders."

"If I do not reach Praxenkyr in time, what will happen to me?"

"The simulacrum will vanish, and your original body will remain insensible until death overtakes it," the captain said. "That much I have seen for myself. Afterwards -- who knows?"

"My body in Praxenkyr -- I cannot tell what has become of it. From time to time, I hear voices far away, but I cannot even open my eyes."

"Do not waste your strength. Keep your attention here. If you withdraw from your simulacrum, it will disperse into mist."

"It was not unpleasant to wander with the spirits," Alyn said, "but I am loath to abandon my duties."

"Death cancels all duties, save love."

The maxim was new to Alyn. Although she could not fully grasp its meaning, it had a comforting ring. She thought of it again and again while she waited.

Despite the magical assistance from the captain, she was losing the battle to stay united to her simulacrum. Her speech became more and more slurred, and finally impossible. She heard activity and conversation around her, but she could not make sense of any of it.

She wondered if she would meet her mother in the spirit realm, or whether their separation was to be eternal. She would dearly get to know her, woman to woman.

It had not been easy to be the child of a legend. When Elena the Firebrand was not galloping to the rescue of the oppressed, who never had the good sense to live nearby, she was holding court in her study in Praxenkyr, sorting out the requests of the dozens of folk who besieged her daily in search of aid. She was loving enough towards her children when she encountered them, but she did not have the leisure to be part of their day-to-day lives.

Alyn had given her heart to her father instead; he was always available for games of chess, musical recitations of heroic verse, or leisurely philosophical discussion. His greatest joy was to wander in the orchard he had planted with his own hands, savouring the ever-changing charms of blossoms and fruit. Often he lost all track of time and left Elena to deal with the tedium of official business in the throne room. Now that Alyn had tasted the responsibilities a warrior queen must bear, she found it easier to forgive her mother.

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