Steve knelt by Max's hospital bed. The doctors said she was alive. Alive but in a coma. They didn't know when she would wake up...if she ever would.
Steve was the first after Lucas to be let into the room. He held her hand lightly. At first he'd tried to stop the tears but now they were falling hot and fast.
Max was like a little sister to him. He didn't want to remember but he did. How one time she'd tried to teach Steve how to skateboard and he'd ended up flat on his face. He'd pretended to be annoyed when she laughed at him but he couldn't be mad when she was smiling like that.
He remembered jumping into that hole in front of the kids, ready to lay down his life when he barely knew some of them.
He remembered how he'd done her makeup for her for the snow ball. She'd told him over and over again that he didn't have to but he learned how to do it for her anyway. She'd given him the biggest hug, told him Billy never would have done that for her. And that's when he decided he'd be a better brother to her then Billy was. Even if he wasn't actually her brother.
He remembered all the tapes he kept in his car for when he was driving her. She'd choose whatever she was in the mood for that day and pop it in, head bobbing along to the music and laughing at Steve's bad attempt at singing, he'd memorized all the songs.
He remembered the night after Billy's death. It was 2am and he'd opened the door to Max standing in the rain in her pajamas, crying. He'd pulled her into a hug before sitting her down on the couch, making her some hot chocolate, and talking to her until she fell asleep at 7.
He remembered how scared he was when Vecna almost got her the first time. He'd kept it together for the kids but inside, he felt like his heart was being ripped apart. The next time he was alone he'd cried about it. He'd almost lost her.
And he'd almost lost her again. And he wasn't sure if he'd get her back this time.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry Max. I was supposed to protect you. I knew we were putting you in danger with that plan and I let it happen anyway. I'm so so so sorry Max. I should have come up with a different plan. It's all my fault I'm sorry."
He kept mumbling similar things over and over until Robin was pulling him out of the room gently. They stood in the hallway and Robin wrapped her arms around him. He buried his face into her shoulder.
"I was supposed to protect her, Rob. She was like my little sister. I was supposed to keep her safe."
Robin rubbed calming motions on his back. "We all knew the risk Steve. She did too."
"But that- it doesn't make it ok."
"I know. I know."
Robin gently led him back to the waiting room. Max's mom had gotten to the hospital and was now in the room with her so Dustin, Nancy, Erica, and Lucas were in the waiting room.
Lucas sat away from the rest of the group, staring out the window, silent tears streaming down his face. Steve thinks this is the first time he's ever seen Lucas cry. He loved Max so much, Steve could tell. He knew Lucas would do anything to protect Max if he could. He'd probably tried.
Nancy sat, staring at her hands and Robin went and sat next to her. She took one of Nancy's hands in her own and smiled sadly when their eyes met.
Erica was looking at her brother worriedly. As much as the two of them fought, Steve knew how much they cared about each other.
Dustin was still holding Eddie's bandana. He twirled it around his fingers over and over and over again.
Oh god. Eddie. Steve had been so worried about getting Max to the hospital he hadn't had time to properly think about Eddie. Why didn't he run? Why didn't he fucking run? Steve told him not to play the hero. Told him to get out if things started to go south. But Eddie had stayed. He'd stayed and fought and now he was gone. Just as Steve was getting to know him more then just as just Eddie "the freak" Munson.
He was pulled out of his thoughts by Dustin shouting his name. "STEVE?"
He looks up at Dustin. "Hm?"
Dustin looks back down at the bandana in his hand before holding it out to Steve. "Eddie- he told me to give this to you." He turned to Robin. "He said you would know what it meant."
Steve looked at Robin questiongly. Her face went from sadness to confusion to understanding. "Oh."
"Oh what? Robin what does it mean?"
Robin shook her head. "I'll tell you later. Not- not here."
Steve knew her well enough to know there was pain behind her eyes. This was something much more than just a bandana.
Steve looked down at it. There was something inside. He unwrapped it carefully. Inside were Eddie's rings. Steve brought a hand up to his mouth and tried to cover the sound of anguish that came from it.
He squeezed his eyes shut. Wishing that this was all just a dream and he'd open his eyes and everything would be ok.
But when he opened his eyes he was still in a hospital waiting room and he was still clutching a blood stained bandana and rings in his hand.
He sat down roughly and slid the rings on his fingers carefully. Why did Eddie give these to him? What did Robin know that he didn't? The questions carried him into an uneasy sleep.
YOU ARE READING
I got to be the hero
FanfictionContains spoilers for Stranger Things 4, vol 2. Eddie Munson dies and he tells Dustin to give Steve his bandana. Robin explains to Steve what it means. Steve realizes he had feelings for Eddie all along but it's too late. Hi so this really sad idea...