When I woke up I was in the hospital... Again! Just great. Just great. There was an IV needle in my arm. I was going to kms. I have needles.
"Oh my gosh Lib! What the hell!" Nes said. I was so fucking confused. Why was she worried? Or upset?
"Uhh yea." I was saying and or asking.
"Why did that happen." Josh asked. Oh the me puking and passing out idk. I wanna be dumb but idk.
"I don't know?" I said. Nes was like crying a but. I felt like horrible...
"Nes dont cry." I said. She was wiping her tears.
"I just cant help but to! This is the second time you have been to the hospital because of fucking people. I just don't know anymore!" She said. Josh kinda put his arm around her.
"Bae it's alright. Don't let this get to you." He was saying to her. I couldn't look at them. Its not all because of the people. It's because of me! But I don't wanna say that cause... It would hurt her worse.
"Lib we will be right back." Josh said. I just nodded and him and Nes left.. Not soon after my doctor walked in.
"Hey Lib whats going on." He asked.
"Same old same old." I said. He laughed a bit and sat down.
"Alright. So we did some scans and stuff, There seems to be many like chemicals in your body that aren't proscribed to you? Do Josh and Nessa know?" He asked. I started to panic.
"No! Wait please! Don't tell them!" I yelled a bit. She seemed confused.
"What? What is going on?" He asked me.
"I- I don't know. I took somethings that I thought was Advil and I took like two every six hours for a few days." I lied to him. I couldn't say the truth not yet! Not until I need help.. Unless I do? No! I don't!
"Oh dear. Okay that isn't good. So i'm gonna have to tell Josh and Nessa only because you need the help." He said. I just said yes out of panic. Oh fuck fuck! As Josh and Nes walked in the doctor pulled them out. I was gonna cry but I know I couldn't. I hated everything. When Josh and Nes finally came back they both sat down.
"Lib. What do you mean you thought they were Advil?" Nes asked. Tears started to fill my eyes. I looked away from them fast.
"Im sorry! Ive just felt so weak and dizzy everything looks the same and hurts!" I said. And honestly it was kinda true. I don't know.
"Lib, Calm down. Please dont make yourself worked up." Josh was saying to me. I took a few swap breaths.
"Sorry." I said over and over again. Nes stood up and sat next to me.
"It's not your fault. I know things are tough." She said to me. I just nodded. Ive been in and out of so many places I just cant.
"Exactly. You will over come this with time. And I feel like that means you home school." Josh said. Nessa got mad at him.
"Josh you weren't supposed to say that yet!" She said. I got so confused and upset! I would leave all my friends!?
"What! No! No you cant! I'm fine!" I was saying.
"Lib it isn't final it was a thought as you recover. The school as an online program so you still have all your teachers you can go to practices but it's home." Nes said to help. But that didn't. Stuck home all day? In the house my brother had so many struggles in and me and Nes!? I would never be able to focus!
"No! I cant!" I said. Josh and Nes both looked at each other. I was pissed at them for even trying to suggest that.
"Lib it's what would be best for you and your health and mental health." Josh was saying. Maybe he was right but no. I wouldn't go for it.
"I don't care. I wanna be with my friends and teachers." I said. They both were silent. So was I. For minutes. Nes and Josh stepped out of the room and I started to cry. No they cant make me! It isn't fair is all I thought. All I could think. As always my phone was in my pocket. I went to go text my gc. Well reply I was spammed again.
"Lib! I saw Nessas post on instagram what happened now!?" Cait sent.
"Wait what did Nessa post?" Riley asked.
"This! Lib what the hell happened!" Baylor said with a screen shot of her story.
"Second time now! Your never gonna be able to play now Lib!" Riley sent again.
"Just woke up. Tf is happening?" Sarah sent.
"Read back stupid." Caitlyn sent.
"Yall she isn't answering this whole time?" Sarah sent.
"Maybe she is asleep?" Riley sent.
"Should we go visit her?" Baylor said.
"And be creepy? Not now. Let her answer." Caitlyn sent. You can picture the rest. I finally answered.
"Hey." I said. Everyone texted at once.
"LIB!" Riley sent.
"What happened!? What did they do now?" Sarah sent.
"Im going to visit you." Baylor said.
"Hun tell us what the fuck is happening." Caitlyn said.
"Okay calm down. If you wanna visit you can. And I threw up from all the crying and lack of water and food. I threw up my guts. Yummy." I sent. I don't think they were to fond of that.
"Okay thats gross." Riley said.
"It might be gross but she is dying." Baylor said.
"Im not dying?" I said to them.
"OMG MY BABY SUGAR LUVY DUVY USSHIEST GUSHIEST BABA GURL IS DYING!" Caitlyn sent. No one answered for like five minutes. I was laughing a bit.
"Cait wtf." Sarah said.
"To much?" She sent. Everyone liked her message.
"I have to go ttyl." I said putting my phone down. Josh and Nes came in.
"Lib listen. We don't wanna force you to home school or online program. But if your gonna go to school you have to absolutely be 100% okay or else your never gonna get better." Nes said. And I agreed.
"I guess but i'm never going to be 100%. There is part of me missing. I just cant." I said. They both looked at me.
"Understand. But you need to be at least some what better. Right now you have to do online if your gonna miss all of this. Your teachers sent us all your work you missed and work on it when you can." Josh said to me. I just nodded.
"Look I know right now isnt your best time but you have me. You have Josh. You have Caitlyn and all of them. I promise it's okay." Nes said. I hugged her a bit. But I wasn't gonna get better from here. I was just gonna get worse.
WRITERS NOTE!
Hey you guys thank you so fucking much for all the love in this book it means so so much to me! I'm so great full for everything! But I have some bad news. The reason it's taking much longer to get chapters out is because i'm like lost in what to write aka writing block so annoying. And im starting school soon. So that means volleyball practice. I do play irl so yea. I'm gonna be super busy and i'm gonna not be able to get chapters out as fast as normal. But I wanna say thank you for everything right now and it would mean the world if you kept supporting as I wrote more to this story! It's played a big role in my life because the pain that I felt with Cooper passing hurt. He helped me through so much. Ive never got to meet him. But He played a role in my life like Nessa. Ive supported her since 2019 and I love her so much. She has actually replied to me on instagram once and has noticed me many times on tiktok! The passing of Cooper and seeing how much pain it's caused Nessa hurts me as-well. But thank you all so much for the love can't wait for the new chapters and challenges I deal with later on lol
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Die first
عشوائيJune 9th of 2022, The day that changed my life for the worst. That day put me into the worst depression spiral i've ever been in. I was in and out of hospital's and doing things I shouldn't do. It seemed like... No one was on my side.. TW'S bullying...
