LOCKER NO. 64

16th December, 20XX

Fireworks lighted up across the night sky. It was so pretty to look at and the loud bursting of fireworks eased my thoughts for a while.

It is the last day of our high school and I hate that all of class A will be leaving you behind. You'll be left all alone with just the memories. I'm sad that you can't walk any further from here, and it hurts me that time stopped just for you alone, while the rest of us are bound to move ahead.

I'm afraid you'll just be a memory and I'm afraid our classmates will forget you as they embrace new memories in their life ahead....

I walked towards my locker as other students walked out with their arms full of gifts, letters and cards they received in their locker. Some more were leaving their love and best wishes in each others locker.

As I opened mine, it did flood with love from each classmate; except from you. I would have loved you to leave me with something I could hold unto and give me the courage to move on...

I looked towards your locker, the only one with the name tag removed, the locker that was left alone and unopened among all.

There were students standing around his locker to leave bouquets in remembrance of him.

When the last student finished and the hallway was empty, I walked to you; to your locker.

I'm afraid I'll be fine with just leaving my bouquet on the floor. I failed to take my step once, but let me now initiate a step closer to you. Let me, although your ears are closed forever, let me leave my written words here..

When I opened his locker, I saw the tag that attached in the bouquet that was inside, "from Jane".

"I'm late again" I thought to myself, but soon my eyes caught sight of something unexpected. I stretched my hand to take hold of the bouquet and as I moved it aside, there laid my lost article collection, perfectly organised among other stuffs of yours. I couldn't believe you had this all the time and didn't ever mention it.

My hands couldn't stop shivering as I held that booklet open and tears rolled down my cheek when I was greeted on the the first page with your words.

"The world can't exist without you. Others world might move ahead, but it'll always make a difference whether you're a part of it or not. So live, even though it's a cloudy day, let's stick together until a sunshine breaks through. Your world needs to keep going. Your world needs you. The day you give up living is the day your world crumbles down. So don't give anyone the power to crumble your world, when all the while it's in your hand to keep your world alive"

These lines spoke to me on the day I was in my lowest. I sneaked to the library one night when I was not at ease. In the hope of finding a comfort among the pages, I came across your article. It hit me hard. I had given up on my Terminal illness and decided to not go with the surgery. Your words however gave me the courage to move on and keep hoping. I'm sorry for keeping this without personal consent, but I'm afraid I can't let it go already. Let me keep this until my surgery, and I'll return it to you in person. Thank you writer Miss @selenophile.

"I couldn't even have the chance to let you know that I'm the one who wrote this" I could feel a lump in my throat as I uttered these words with my shivering lips.

I couldn't hold my tears back at that moment, the ache in my heart felt unending and forever. I clutched my sweater tight as I stood there in the silent hallway with just my sobbing echoing..

Am I to be happy after reading this? I don't know..if I should rejoice over you finding hope or blame myself for leading you the wrong way. Could things have been better had you never read my words?? Was running away the best option than facing your hardships? Should I have allowed you to continue running away; today I'm regretting I didn't....

I guess running away sometimes is the best thing to do......? Is it.........? Would you have been here, bidding goodbye to your high school years had you kept running away and decided not to stop.........?

Sighing with a heavy heart, I picked up all the flowers and cards your classmates left for you, placing them carefully inside your locker. I left my letters too in your locker.

The only thing left to be put in the rightful place was that booklet of mine. I teared up the first page and in doing so, something fell from in between the pages. As I bent to pick it up, my hands froze. It was that photo - The one you took of me in the sunset and the one you captured of the glittering city lights.

I was no longer on my feet, I slumped down on my knees. I was too broken to stand up. As I knelt beside those pictures lying on the cold floor, my heart shattered within me.

"Geez. You're so slow. Because I wanted to see your face. You make me smile."

"and so do you."

I know you said those words. It was as clear as day. The metro wasn't that loud to stop me from hearing; it was my rebellious heart to keep those words unheard; to pretend you never said those words.

I turned the photo, he had scribbled something on the back. "She made the lonely sunset look beautiful, I hope she can make my suntset as beautiful so that I'll be able to dawn with her on a new day"

And again had he scribbled something on the next photo "when in my lowest, for the very first time I found comfort in person; apart from the pages. She stood by me and made this lonely night feel warm. She was the one shining bright among the city lights that night."

Why did you lie about the shoot when all the while the reason was because you were sad... I thought I knew you well, but I fail to read those eyes of yours....

"I thought I felt the same way Jane, but soon I realized I wasn't. The bridge where we met everytime, I realized I was never actually waiting for you, but to see someone else who made me feel different than how I felt with you. I'm sorry. I messed up my own feelings. I messed up."

I recalled Jane's words with a heavy heart. You did mess yourself up. I picked up the last picture summing up all the courage I could, and I flipped it over -

The pain of never having someone is always bearable than the pain of having someone and then loose in between.

The picture when you captured me playing with the flowers.