In This Town

April 12, 2022

Alexa•

It feels so good to be back with all of my friends. To see them take in Evie like their own. Not only does Evie have school and dance friends, she has 'adult friends'. Trent and Finn love the kid, almost in a brotherly way. Sarah, Charlie and Sadie treat her like a princess, and give her all the special treatment. It makes me so happy. And Jamison, he loves her most of all. Sometimes it hurts, knowing that he's missed out on so much stuff, but I have to remind myself that it was for the better.

"Hey, you okay?" Jamison asks, his brown curls everywhere, sweaty and covered in sand. His tan skin glistens in the sun.

"Yeah, Im good. Just thinkin'" I tell him. He sits on the chair next to me, taking a drink of water. His jawline is sharper than it used to be.

"Evie loves these guys," He smiles. Another perfect thing about him.

As I look at him now, I can pinpoint every reason I fell for him then. Not just his abs, or the curly blonde hair, and gorgeous blue eyes, but because he's so genuine. He's always been that way. His humor is unexplainable, and he's always in the moment. It's never "what's going to happen next?" it's "whats happening now?". He never gave a single damn about what would happen, because he figured that whatever was going to happen, was going to happen.

He is still somewhat like that now, but so many things have changed, for the better, for the worse. He's iffy. I can see it in his eyes; he wants to know what's going to happen next. If everything is going to come crashing down, or keep building up.

"Yeah she does." I agree. He puts his hand on my knee. I instinctively go to push it away, but I stop myself. I like it there. I like being close to him.

"Ya know, she looks just like you. Except the blue eyes, of course." He tells me. I want to throw it back at him. Tell him that every time I look at her, I see him. But I can't, so I won't.

"People tell me that a lot. I don't see it, honestly." He looks shocked.

"Are you serious. She's the spitting image of you Alexa. It's like you copy and pasted." Jamison chuckles.

"I think she looks more like her dad," I blurt. He stops in his tracks.

"Whoever he is, he's a lucky guy Lex. I know you said he's not in the picture, but he's still so lucky." He softly says. I refuse to look him in the eyes.

"He doesn't know, that she's even around. Or that she's his at least. It was a one and done kinda thing, ya know?" I say. I twist the truth, because he does know she exists, and he loves her.

"Oh," He almost whispers.

"Jamison, if you uh- If you were hiding something so, important, from someone, how would you tell them? Would you?" I ask him. A lump grows in the back of my throat. I swallow hard, in efforts to not cry.

"I would just tell them. Sometimes, that's the best way to do it. Just rip it off like a bandaid."

I look away from Jamison, and towards Evie. She's running, and giggling. Covered in sand, her blonde hair messy. Her skin, tan, glows in the setting sun. I see Jamison in her more now, than I ever have.

"How would you do it?" He asks, curiosity in his voice.

"Well, it would depend on who I was telling. Someone I know really well, I would just lay it down straight. But someone I don't know, or have drifted away from, I'd be more hesitant, because there's no way I could know how they'd react." I confess. He slightly nods his head.

We sit in silence, just watching. The waves crash, the sun setting, our friends having the time of their lives. Everything seems so perfect.

"I've missed you. A lot." Jamison starts. My heart pounds against my chest.

I look him in the eyes, they fall to his lips, and rise back to his eyes. He softly smiles.

"Me too." I mutter.

"You got a new tattoo while I was away," I tell him, tracing my fingers along the rose, on his left bicep. He tenses at my touch. "What's it for?" I question.

"It symbolizes love, and passion," He tells me. "I was planning on getting it for a while, but I wasn't quite sure. Then everything happened, and decided it was a sign. I got it probably a month after my brother died."

"I like it. It looks like it's meant to be there." I tell him.

He leans towards me, the scent of his cologne gets stronger. It's the same one he's been wearing since our senior year. He pushes a piece of my hair behind my ear, softly smiling, before pressing his lips against mine.

Everything stops. Time freezes, and I know I'm right where Im supposed to be. Right here, right now, with Jamison. That's where the universe wanted me in this very moment.

The familiar feel of his soft lips on mine, makes me feel so comfortable. It's as if we haven't spent seven years apart, and that it was all some awful dream.

As he pulls away, his eyes heavy, breath stammering, and a smile spreads across his face, he looks me in the eye. I can't help but smile.

"Ya know, I remember practicing asking you out in the mirror," He confesses. "I was terrified." He laughs, blushing so hard I can almost imagine how hot his face must feel.

"Why were you terrified? Was I scary?" I giggle, he just shakes his head.

"Lex, you had boys lined up just to talk to you. I thought I was just going to be one of your prom dates, and then we'd never talk again." He tells me, his hands moving up my leg.

"No I did not!" I squeal. "I was so quiet I didn't think anybody even knew who I was." I tell him. He rolls his eyes.

"Oh bull- shit. You were homecoming queen three years in a row! That shouldn't have even been possible." He laughs.

I lean my head into his shoulder, as I hear a little girl giggling, the sound getting closer and closer. I practically jump away from Jamison.

"Mom! Trent is trying to tickle me!" She giggles, hiding behind my chair. Jamison sneaks up behind her, picking her up. He puts her on his shoulders.

They run from Trent, both smiling.

Seeing Evie so happy, with her dad, makes me so happy.

I lay back and watch, enjoying what I get to call my life now.