In This Town

May 5, 2022

Jamison•

I bring Evie to school, for the first time ever. I don't know how Alexa does it. Just letting her walk in there on her own, knowing that there's people who aren't going to be kind to her, just waiting in there. Watching her go into a place where things happen that we don't know about. I want to be able to protect her every second.

It's hard for me to leave. What if she's not okay at school? What if something is happening that she won't tell us about?

Somehow I do, and I find myself at Alexa's house. It's become auto pilot for me.

The parenting thing is hard, especially trying to co- parent. I knock on her door. She doesn't answer.

Her car is in the driveway, and the lights are on, but there isn't a single sound in the house. It concerns me.

I shake the feeling, and walk back to my car. As I do, another car pulls up. Alexa in the passenger seat, a man I don't know driving the grey acura.

He parks in her driveway, and immediately pops out, and gets the door for Alexa. She smiles and laughs, before seeing me.

"Oh, uh- I didn't know you were going to be here." She claims. I'm thoroughly confused as to what is happening.

"I was just wanting to talk to you, for a minute, but clearly you're busy," I say, leaning against my car door.

The man, tall and fit, with combed back brown hair, and a tattoo creeping out of his shirt, holds Alexa close by her hip.

I don't know what it makes me feel, seeing her with someone new. Maybe uncomfortable, or upset even.

"Well, um-" Alexa looks over at the man, putting her hand on his chest. "I'll come by your apartment in an hour? And we can talk then?" She smiles. Something that I haven't seen in a long time. I hate to say that I miss it.

"Sounds great." I lie, stepping back into my car.

As I drive away, and see her bring this new guy into her house, I can't help but feel angry. For so many reasons.

She's been giving such mixed signals. One second, we're kissing and everything feels normal again, and then she's distant, and bringing home random guys.

I hate that, not only is she seeing someone new, my daughter is going to have to deal with him. What if he doesn't treat Alexa right? Does that mean he's not treating Evie right either?

It's hard for me to comprehend. When I found out Evie was mine, I felt like I needed to protect her. That every single choice I make, is going to affect her. It's not just me anymore. It's a whole other person.

Which is exactly what Alexa told me. She wasn't just worried about herself anymore.

I drive over to Charlie's house. She knows Alexa better than anyone else. She'll know what to do.

I knock on her door, she answers almost immediately.

"What are you doing here?" She questions, a look of concern on her face.

"It's about Alexa," I blurt, sounding more desperate than I had wished.

"Okay?" She rolls her eyes, motioning me to come inside. I find my spot on her deep brown couches, that's I swear she's had forever.

"Did you know that she brought home another guy?" I ask.

"Oh yeah, Isaiah? He's an awesome guy. He's got a little boy of his own. Evies friends with his son, actually." Charlie tells me. This is more complicated than I thought.

"And you just let her bring him home? What if he's a serial killer or something?" I raise my voice.

"He's not a serial killer Jamison. He's actually a cop. He was in the army for a while too. He's had all the background checks anybody would ever need." Charlie says, in what I assume is in attempts to make me relax.

"So what you're saying is he could overpower her at any moment?" I shoot back.

"Jamison, this is making it seem like you still really love her..." Charlie claims, whispering it, as if it needs to be secret.

"What? No, not after what she did." I lie. "I'm worried about Evie. That's it."

"Jamison..?" She starts, trying to pry it out of me.

"Even if I did, which I don't, she's already moved on." The lies roll off my tongue better than I thought.

"Well, even if you don't still love her, she does Jamison. She never stopped loving you. Sure, she may have made a pretty big mistake, but you guys were young, and she was scared, especially about losing you." She points her finger into my chest. "So she left. Because it's easier to lose someone by choice, then have them leave you on their own. You should know that better than anyone else Jamison." She tells me. And suddenly something clicks.

Everything clicks.