just the way a person makes you feel, and not the person themselves. u miss the things they'd do for you, the things they'd say, and for a long while it was exactly that with you.
but then i'd find myself missing your voice, your warmth, the way your eyes squint and crinkle, giving away your shy smile even with a mask over your face, the way your smile would shine so warm and bright in pictures, the way you'd laugh so unabashedly around your friends and around me, the way you'd go quiet when lost in your own thoughts, the way you'd lay your head on the steering wheel and stare at me, your expression warm and content and full of love. i think about your hands and the quirky little way your fingers move, the way you put your hands in your pockets when you walk, your annoyingly attractive broad shoulders, your lower jaw jutting out just a bit, how you look like when you're shaved clean or when you'd let your facial hair grow out. the way you drive with one hand, the way your fingers would play around with the ends of my clothes or how you'd hug the hoodie you gave me. how you eat wasabi like it's your favourite ice cream. how you'd smile at me. how you smile. your smile. you. as a whole.
sometimes what you miss is just the way a person makes you feel, but i know that when it comes to you, what i miss is really you.
(and not just sometimes.)
