As Ashley miserably tried to shadow her "master of manners," she remained in a near-constant state of depression and anxiety. Since she was such a good student, and also excelled at keeping her feelings to herself, no one seemed to notice Ashley's severe downslide. She barely made it through each day, so scared of other people's judgment, sad, and lonely. But she would put on a brave face, laugh with everyone else, and then spend her nights alone, lying in her room in the dark, crying and raging against the unfair, cruel world that she had been trapped in. There seemed no escape to the torment except growing up and getting out on her own. So she kept up this act, week after week, playing the part, with a beaming smile and a dying heart.
Sometimes the despair was lifted by a spark of hope. Usually this came in the shape of a boy. But the boys were older now, and not as gentle and naive. And while Ashley was hoping for understanding and a connection, these boys were looking for something much more physical. And as Ashley's aversion to displeasing people had grown so massive, her ability to say no to them had left her almost completely. Because of this, she ended up in some very damaging situations, that left her feeling even more used and broken. One boy in particular, named Treysten, brutally stole her virginity and dignity. Ashley had been broken before, but now she became convinced that all people had bad intentions in their hearts. And after this, she would never feel at home in her own body again, and the idea of being intimate with someone else would become associated with pain, being forced, and fear. Luckily, this relationship was short, and afterward she remained single for a long time, really trying to master the art of etiquette. Even if she didn't love the subject, anything that could get her a new life was worth trying for.
