As Ashley tried to master this new world of niceties and politeness, a new opportunity suddenly came her way. When she was younger Ashley had adored acting in her school theater. Naturally gifted at the art of emotive expression, Ashley had been in the lead role every year of school. However, when everything come crashing down for her, the idea of auditioning had suddenly become enshrouded in the possibility of mortifying shame and ridicule. The anxiety that performing and making a mistake had brought to her made acting unimaginable. And with that, another of her favorite things had been left behind, replaced with even more emptiness and regret.
However, now, as part of her training, her master had announced that joining the theater would be a necessary part of her apprenticeship. The woman waxed poeticly about the "propriety of the stage", and the "necessity of knowing how to please an audience". She told Ashley that it gave one a "deep sense of what was acceptable and unacceptable" in terms of appearance, speaking, and expressing emotion. And, according to Madam LeBuxom, in becoming a performer, one learned these things in their bones, not just in their brains. While Ashley thought this made some sense, she didn't entirely follow her Master's train of logic. But, sensing that this opportunity had come about for her for a higher purpose, and imagining that she could be happy again and potentially overcome some of her debilitating terror, Ashley was excited, albeit terrified, of this opportunity.
Ashley summoned all of her courage to prepare a monologue and audition for the production. She was so scared, she couldn't even see the audience when she performed. They were a big blur. She just focused on the words and the feelings, and performed her little heart out. When she was finished she ran off of the stage and almost passed out with relief. She couldn't believe that she had done it! She had no idea if she had done a good job or not, but she had done it. And that was a great accomplishment for her. She was so proud of herself, and for the first time in years she felt a sense of peace and hope for herself.
After she let herself calm down backstage, Ashley made her way back to the audience seats. As she sat there, with a big, goofy smile plastered to her face, it was another performer's turn. She looked up, finally aware of something besides what she had just gone through, and she saw a young man bounce out onto the stage. With a dramatic flourish and a deep bow, he introduced himself as "Waffle" and announced what monologue he was going to perform. Without further ado, the boy began an engrossing performance. He was a natural-born performer who exuded confidence and true feeling. Yet, he was not polished and put-together as you would expect of most actors. He was very unique and quirky, as evidenced by his grandiose, yet completely believable style, and his eye-catching hat made of rainbow-colored feathers. Along with marveling at his performance, Ashley was in disbelief at his deep sense of comfort with himself, despite being quite unconventional. She imagined that his unusual style and over-the-top manner would put him at high risk of ridicule and judgments. Yet he seemed completely unperturbed by this idea, and completely at ease. Ashley desperately wondered what that would feel like, and if she could feel like that again someday. She also realized that the boy was quite cute, with a beaming, exuberant smile. He was larger than life. She wondered briefly if he were part Fey. She had never met another magical being like herself in this human land. Luckily, she figured, there was nothing distinctive enough about her to make people suspect her half-mermaid race. It was not obvious that she could breathe underwater as easily as she could breathe air, or that she could not be crushed by the pressure of the deep ocean. She did not have any noticable scales, gills, or a tail, obviously. Her nature was hidden, and for this she was glad. Still entranced by this boy, Ashley continued to gaze up at the stage. Even as she felt delighted watching him, he made her feel bad at the same time. He was a reflection of everything that she had lost so long ago. Tears burned her eyes, as she tried to push away the grief that this loss had pulled back to the surface. As everyone clapped for the boy, she put herself back together and took a deep breath. And with a smile back on her face, she politely clapped with everyone else.
