Feelings

CHAPTER 3

It was funny how dad jumped the door to escape from my angry and scary looking mom. I understood her frustration, but then she became more violent than she has ever been.

She looked like a mad woman, her hair was scattered , and she sat on the floor crying profusely like a baby. The room was scattered and her usually arranged table was empty, the objects on it were lying scattered on the floor, her laptop and phone inclusive.

She looked bitter and hurt, maybe worse than the last time; I tried helping her to organize her things back but she drove me out of her room.

She just lost her sweetheart, I too lost my dad, but am happy that we didn’t loose him to the cold hand of death. I was believing and hoping in God that he realizes himself and comes back home to us.

I slept that night and woke up the next morning hoping that it was all a dream; I ran out of my room only to discover that Dad had actually left.

“it wasn’t a dream” I thought and wept loudly.

Days, and weeks passed and still Dad was no where to be found; soon I lost Mom to depression. She neither ate, nor bath; she sat on her room floor and wallowed in her pain.

She did nothing else other than to mope at the walls and to drink bottles of whisky, beer and other alcoholic drinks which weren’t good for her health.

Have you ever had the feeling that you are all alone in a big mansion, even though you are living with an adult (your parent). I felt that way for one month, and even worse for 8 extra years; I bath myself, cooked and ate alone.

It didn’t take time before my neighbors started gossiping about my parents divorce; no they didn’t divorce yet, they just gave each other space, at least that was what I made myself believe.

I tried telling them that my parents weren’t divorced, but they called me a little liar.

Many said I was the reason why my dad left us; I just didn’t know why they felt it was right to tackle a kid like me. My classmates bullied me everyday, especially mama Joy’s daughter, Nneka. She told the rest of the class that my dad ran away with a beautiful lady, leaving I and mom alone.

I was very angry when I heard that, so I beat her up and that landed me in the principal’s office. The principal sent for my mom, but she won’t come.

I begged aunty Onyi to represent my mom in the school and she did. Mama Joy insulted us, she called me filth; I tried telling them that Joy insulted me first but no one believed me, since I had no major wound on my body to show my innocence, but Joy had a lot.

Damn I am a fighter, you needed to see how I beat and plastered Joy’s body with multiple wounds and bites.

At that point I felt proud of myself, I didn’t care one bit if I am punished or not. Aunty Onyi looked remorseful for what happened while we were inside the office, but as soon as we left the office she busted into heavy laughter.

She mimicked mama Joy because of her so called accent and the way her tongue moved while she talk.

I begged Aunty Onyi to help me talk to my mom before she drinks herself to death and she promised me to do so.

That evening she visited our house and spoke to my mom, reminding her that I am a child that needed parents guidance. She told her that her action is really taunting on me, and might destroy me if things continues as they were at that time.

She did a good job at speaking to mom; I believed so because mom came out of her shadows, but not immediately. It took some times but eventually she did, but that was after 6 weeks of leaving me alone in the hands of the wildlings who did everything in their power to Maine me and tell me what a drunkard my mom was.

They told me how my dad choose a strange woman over I and my mom; funny right? Yes but that is how the world works, the weak are bullied and the strong are protected.

At a point I couldn’t take it any longer, I was scared of going back to school, and at the same time grew phobia for people.

That faithful day I sat in the sitting room crying profusely; I was scared and felt lonelier than I had ever felt in the past. I felt pity for my mom, looking at her I saw only shadows.

Aunty Onyi told me something the previous day she came; I asked her why God hate me and why he allowed people like Mama Joy to bully me.

She told me that God doesn’t hate me; according to her, God is a faithful lover and a devoted father, he loves and cherishes his children irrespective of their sin and agony. She told me that God listens to our prayers and requests and knows what is best for us.

"Everything will be okay" she said.

She said that I should be gentle with myself and believe that God will never fail me.

"At the appointed time he will come around and deliver me” she said.

“When is this appointed time going to be” I asked her.

“when he sees that we are ready to handle his blessings” she said

I quite didn’t understand what she meant but then I decided to believe and have trust in God.

I prayed to God again, asking him to give my mom sanity; I wanted mom to start seeing me again. While I was still praying and crying, I heard mom’s voice call my name; it felt like a dream, I saw mom walking towards me.

“is it possible that God has already answered me” I thought.

“ where are you Vera” she called out.

This time around her voice sounded closer than before; I opened my eyes and saw Mrs Tina, my mom standing in front of me and staring right into my eyes. I couldn’t stop looking into her eyes and sobbing; she looked pale and slim, but that aside I was very happy.

She sat down and apologized for neglecting me all these while; I Was touched that I couldn’t stop sobbing, and I hugged her so tight.

It’s been long since I last felt my mom’s arms; I was vulnerable, maybe because as a child I was alone for a long time.

My action next will make you guys laugh.

I ran outside and stood in front of my house; I screamed at the top of my voice…

“you can’t bully me no more; my mom is going to flog you all” I said confidently.

Everyone in the neighborhood came out of their houses and just stared at me; I raised up my trouser and shine my butt at them.

It was funny, but I felt safe, like I have arrived; It felt like God has come and rescued me.

“Psychos are going to go down now” I thought and laughed out loud.