Feelings

CHAPTER 4

For a while there was complete peace in my home, just that sometime I wished dad never left, but then he did, and I am okay.
It bothered me, but then I dare not voice it out, I was scared I might loose mom again if I did.
Little by little, and with lots of prayers, mom came back fully; no more alcohol and no more space outs. At least that was what I believed as she never allowed me to witness her sorrows again.
We stayed at home making paintings of objects and things most times; mom taught me how to paint. We ordered most things we needed from home, ranging from groceries and items we needed for our day to day activities.
I registered for online schooling ; one of the reasons being that I was scared of the wolf’s outside and the other reason being that mom was ashamed to step out of the house.
It didn’t take time before our neighborhood gossips started thinking that we travelled and the gossips died down.
“Lame right? I know, but that was our escape route.
THE FAMILY BEHIND CLOSED DOORS
We lived like that for months, scary but we enjoyed every bit of our indoor life.
Mom turned her painting into a full time hobby; she painted beautiful art works, posted them on her pages for fun, and before you knew it people started admiring them. Her followers count increased and most of her followers wanted her paintings to be hung on their walls; they made offers to her and finally she decides to turn it into a business.
She painted, and sold them online; her customers pay into her bank account, and her delivery guy comes around, picks them up and delivers them safely to the owners.
He gets 5% of the total earnings, and that was big money, as mom’s painting were highly paid for.
I usually heard the other kids playing in the neighborhood play ground and I peeped them through the curtains. That was all I could do since I could t join them in the play.
Mom order a computer and other play items for me to have fun while in the house, but nothing beats playing in group.
Sometimes I imagined joining others outside but the thoughts of how the will treat me scared me.
“What if they still hate me”
“What if I faint again” I asked myself.
Did I just tell you guys that I fainted? Okay let me dive into that part of the gist….
A day before mom regained back her sanity, just right before I started believing in God again; I went outside to play with destiny, kora, Bammy and Evelyn my neighbors. Their reception of me was very poor; what I never knew was that Joy’s mom told the other mother’s to keep their children off my reach.
Her excuse being that I am a bad influence on their children, and that I will beat them up like I did to Joy her daughter.
I wasn’t planning to beat them, unless if they speak Ill of my mother and I again; I just couldn’t tell why they are bent on making life in Lekki so difficult for us.
The mother told them that my Mom’s bad cooking chased my dad away.
Mama Eko said that it was my mother’s extravagant lifestyle that chased him away; she said that my mom spent excessively for someone that wasn’t working.
Mama Joy said that money was made to be spent, just not for witches like my mom. She added that my mom ate her womb after giving birth to me, and that was why she couldn’t conceive again after giving birth to me.
“Kora’s mom said that one child is enough, be it a girl or a boy,
“As long as that child is well trained, she can be anything and everything” she said
“shut up, what do you know, I don’t know why Mr Benson has decided not to divorce you yet” mama Joy yelled at Mama Kora.
“Is she not your friend, so why don’t you support her, I bet you two are in the same cult” mama Eko said mockingly to kora’s mom
“I don’t care what you women has to say, a child is a child” kora’s mom told them.
“okay why don’t you tell that to her husband, maybe he will come back to them” the women said spitefully and mocked mom.
I know you guys will wonder how I got to know about these conversations; yes I will still tell you guys.
The day after my three friends refused me to play with them, I went to Kora’s house to know why they treated me like that, and there I saw the women gossiping about my family.
I didn’t plan to eavesdrop on them, but I decided to when I heard them Mama Joy mention my mom’s name. It was painful seeing how people oils be two faced; mama Eko and Mama Joy came toy house each time my dad won an award to rejoice with us. My mom took them an outings to continue with the celebration; she bought them clothes, bags, food and other expensive things.
Their actions made me realize why mom called me one Saturday evening, and all she could tell me was this
“no one is your friend, mama
“they are always there to gain from you, and when they feel that you have nothing else to offer them, they will disappear without leaving a trace.
She spoke as if she knew that mama Eko and Joy will turn against her afterward, and that made me rethink her pain.
“Maybe she is scared of how poorly the neighborhood women will treat her of anything happens to dad, or he leaves her.
I strongly believe that she is aware of the fact that the women will mock and blame for her husband’s constant travels.
That very moment I felt pity for my mom; my ten years old legs started to shake , my body was soaked in tears, and my head felt heavy, and then I felt numb/dizzy and collapsed.
Two hours later I woke up on our sofa, Aunty Onyi was sitting beside me; standing before me was my dad’s colleague, Dr Desmond. He diagnosed me of having Allergic reactions; Dr Desmond asked me what I took that triggered it, and I told him that I ate nothing new.
After that day I couldn’t leave my house and neither was I able to entertain people; what I saw that day left a scar in my heart. Each time I stepped out of my house I had shock, which resulted to me fainting. Dr Desmond warned aunty Onyi against letting me step out of the house, until they find out what triggers my allergic reaction.
Dr Desmond believes that if my allergy isn’t caused by what I ate, then it is caused by my environment; what I saw, or stepped on. He asked me what happened outside before I fainted, but I told him nothing; I just stared at the celling and kept mute.
Mom locked up our windows, doors and refused me going outside. Aunty Onyi used to visit us from time to time, until our neighbors fed her with some cock and bull stories of how we were witches, and she stopped coming.