wounds that never bleed | h.ran

chapter seven

After that talk, you became more lively at work. It feels like that talk was the missing piece that you need for you to be able to move on. You already accept the fact that things between you and Ran will never go back to the way it was. You still love him, yes, but you don't have any plans to act on that feeling. You just want to let him heal from the wounds you caused and maybe, just maybe he'll find someone who will love him the way you do but this time, in the right way.

and if that happens, I can be at peace.

"You're smiling lately." A familiar voice said, leaning his back against the wall, next to you.

"Koko-san!"

"Yo." He put his cigarette in between his lips. "Do you have a light?" He asked. You immediately get the lighter from your pocket and flick the ignition a couple of times, but it won't spark.

"Oh shoot! I think this is empty." You said, tapping the bottom of your lighter on your palm.

"Ah, it's fine. let me borrow this." Koko then gently took your cigarette in between your fingers and lit his cigarette using yours, after that, he returned them to you.

You took it and put it in between your lips and puff a smoke before leaning back against the wall. There's silence for a while as both of you consume your cancer sticks.

"I'm glad to see that you look happy," Koko said, breaking the ice.

"Is it that obvious?" You chuckled, tucking your hair behind your ear.

"Yeah. I mean, when you're smiling at Ran before, your smiles don't reach your eyes, but now it's different."

"Ran has forgiven me. We finally had the closure and It felt like a huge boulder was lifted from my heart,"

"That's great."

"Yeah." You're happy, truly. but there are times that you selfishly think about the what-ifs and you'd feel the slap of regret.

Koko faced you and flicked your nose lightly. "Smile more. it suits you." He said with a smile on his face.

You quickly blush and looked away. "Thanks."

Ran arrived at the bar and passed the small alley where the back door was located. His eyes widened a little when he saw you and Koko, talking comfortably while smoking. You're lending Koko your earphones while tapping on your phone. Memories of the past suddenly came rushing into his mind, how you always show him the new songs you've found and let him hear them by putting the earphones in his ears. That was his favorite part because you would lean closer to him to put the earphones, and that way, he could smell your sweet scent.

His heart felt a sharp sting. It is not my business anymore. He thought and continued to enter the bar,

❀

Another month has passed and a lot has happened. Your mother moved in with your auntie in the province to help her in their business. It's kinda sad because you were left alone in that tiny apartment but at the same time, you know it's for the best. Your auntie promised to provide for your mother's needs while staying there.

Aina, your younger sister sent you a photo that she became a dean's lister which cut her tuition in the second semester in half. You feel like you achieved something and it made your eyes well. Putting her first was the right decision.

You're now at the bar, humming a song while sweeping the floor. "♪I never, never thought that I would fall like that never knew that I could hurt this bad—Jesus freaking Christ!" You backed away, flinching while hugging the broom when you lifted your head and saw Ran sitting at a table not far from you. He's holding his head, looking down like he's in pain or something.