I DID IT FOR LOVE - B. DENBROUGH

[8] sterling wineheiser

[ 4 years ago, California, Sterling's POV ]

*this chapter contains very mature content such as drug abuse, alcohol abuse, rape, sexual assault, physical abuse, miscarriage so please skip if you feel uncomfortable*

"First day of high school!" My mom flashed her camera as she was taking pictures of me. I got to admit, I was pretty excited for my freshman year, and finally being in highschool.

"You're so lucky you're not in middle school anymore," I smiled at my little sister Scarlet as she was eating her cereal. She was a seventh grader, and two years younger than me. I ruffled her hair as I hugged her. "Savor it while it last, it goes by quick Scarlie,"

"I told you not to call me that," She groaned as I smiled. The bus to the highschool was here and I walked on. I looked around at the seat until there was one seat in the back occupied by a boy. He had brown hair, blue eyes, and small freckles.

"Can I sit here?" I asked him, he took off his headphones of his Walkman. He nodded as I put my backpack next to me.

"I'm Trevor," he smiled. I smiled back at him. I immediately fell in love with his smile. I immediately fell in love with everything about him. "Sterling,"

"Sterling, that's a beautiful name," He complimented me which caused my face to heat up. Over the next few weeks Trevor, who was a junior, and I became really great friends. He invited me over to his house.

I put on my best clip-on earrings, my newest outfit, and did my hair. I had to wait until my parents went to bed so I could sneak out. After all the lights went out, I successfully snuck out, and got into his car. I was greeted with a lot of bottles of alcohol, and him blowing a cigarette into my face.

Once we got there, he offered me a drink. I had never had alcohol before. I took a sip, and I was hooked. I felt as if my world was spinning and I into remember Trevor taking me back into his room. I watched as he took off his shirt. He started to take off mine.

"Trevor, what are you doing?" I slurred as he put me on his bed. He climbed on top of me as I was entering in and out of consciousness. "Just going to make you feel real good Sterling,"

I woke up the next morning with only my underwear on and the birds were chirping. I looked over to see Trevor. I climbed out of his bed as I could hardly walk. I looked down at my underwear as I saw the blood patch in there tears started streaming down my face. I looked into his mirror to see my hair all messed up, mascara running down my face. I looked back at Trevor, and walked out of his room. I saw one of his friends on the couch with a syringe.

"Sterling, right?" He asked me. I nodded as I started making my way to the door. "Here, this'll help,"

I sat next to him as he stuck the syringe up my vein, almost immediately I felt instant calm and relief. That's when my addiction started. Even though Trevor drugged me and repeatedly rape me, abuse me, and other, it's where I got my drug fix, I couldn't break.

I was a senior in high school, my sister was finishing her sophomore year where it all went down. I was still with Trevor, and I had realize my period was missing for a couple weeks. From what I've been told, Trevor used condoms. For safety measure, I took a pregnancy test, but I didn't expect a positive pregnancy test.

I sat and cried for hours. Not only was I pregnant as a teen, I was half DNA with my abuser now. Which hurt even more. The worse part of it was, I could tell Scarlet could notice when I was drugged or drunk. I tried my best to keep her away from all this stuff, I didn't want her to turn out like me.

I didn't want to push her away, I wanted her to come to me, to ask me for advice, but I needed to make her scared of me, scared of me so she wouldn't become me.

I had went over to Trevor's house to tell him I was with his child. His friend were all over and I asked if I could speak with him alone.

"What's up baby?" He blew some smoke into my face, tears welled up in my eyes as I explained the news. His face immediately dropped as he started beating me, bloody, if the baby wasn't already dead from all of the drug abuse, it was now. He finally left, leaving me there, alone, and crippled. I found some needles with some juice left in them, and used the rest of the strength to shoot it up me.

I felt my eyes flutter close, and finally, I was at peace, finally I was at a place where I couldn't hurt Scarlet, myself, what could've been my future child, my parents, or anyone anymore. I was gone, for good.

I knew my parents would immediately send Scarlet up to Maine to live with Aunt Meg, I knew since they had talked about it before. They didn't want Scarlet turning out like me, a monster. I knew she would be safe up there. Away from all the bad and drugs. A new fresh start without the following of her slutty drugged out older sister.

I wanted the best for Scarlet, I always did everything for her. And I know she didn't know it, I knew she thought I was fucked up, horrible, the worse person to ever exist, and at the end of the day, I am okay with that, if that teaches her to stand up for herself, stay away from bad influences, drugs, and abuse. I did my job as an older sister.