Attention Seeker✔️

7

When Minho woke up early the next morning, he wasn't in his headspace anymore. It shouldn't have been possible for him to be up this early, considering how he had exhausted himself the previous day but here he was, carefully detangling himself from Jisung's arms. His eyes were still swollen and sensitive from all the crying he had done the previous night but that wouldn't stop him from getting in an early practice session before he had to meet up with the rest of the group for their official schedule. With his eyes already stinging as it was, it wasn't too surprising that the dancer teared up when he slipped out of bed and tucked the blanket around Jisung's shoulders, whispering: "I'm sorry I keep burdening you but I won't anymore. You've done so much for me already, I don't deserve you." Wiping his eyes, Minho glanced over at Jeongin, who slept peacefully under his blanket. He really didn't deserve his friends. He was the second oldest, yet he constantly made his dongsaengs baby him, while he wasn't even able to dance well. It was literally his only task, yet he failed pitifully.

Minho quietly slipped out of the room to change into some workout clothes. He should have at least two hours before he'd have to meet up with the rest of the group. Two hours were better than nothing, though he doubted he'd get the choreography right in such a short time. That didn't mean he wouldn't try but with the choreographer's words still ringing in his ears, he knew there was a lot that he had to improve, which would obviously also take a lot of time. Minho knew that if he wanted to improve, he'd have to go back to practicing on his own as soon as their schedule was over but that shouldn't be a problem. He wasn't lazy and he would prove it. If that meant not going home until he could get it right, then so be it. Since he couldn't waste any time that'd be better spent practicing, the dancer rushed through his morning routine but remembered to grab an energy bar on his way out. This way he could eat at least a little, so he'd have the energy to give it his all and not be sloppy like he had been the day before when he had skipped his meals.

He was doing far better than he had the previous day. His moves were on point and he wasn't distracted by his littlespace frequently trying to creep up on him but still, it didn't feel like he was doing better in the slightest. To Minho himself, it seemed like he was still severely lacking skill. He could see all the imperfections that had upset the choreographer so much the day before and they frustrated him. No matter how amazing his dancing may have looked to someone else, to Minho it looked bad, sloppy and off beat but despite trying so hard, he just couldn't seem to get it right. By the time he realized he'd have to wash up and meet the rest of the group, the dancer was ready to rip out his hair from frustration. he was still embarrassing his group with his poor dancing skill, just like the choreographer had claimed, so he couldn't wait for their schedule to be over, so he could return to the practice room and work on his dancing.

Throughout their entire schedule, Minho struggled to focus. It was obvious to the other members that their friend had withdraw pretty far into his own head but with how busy they were, there wasn't much they could do about it at the moment. Jisung made sure to stay close to the older at all times, feeling constantly on edge after seeing the other break down like that the previous night. Usually, the rapper's presence would've been reassuring to Minho but right now, it made him feel guilty. The younger obviously didn't trust him to handle himself and somehow that hurt, though he couldn't really blame him.

Minho had to use eye drops every few hours as his eyes were painfully irritated but at least that made it easier for him to play off the few times that he really did feel like crying. His heart picked up pace when he glanced at the clock and realized it was already starting to get late. Normally, it'd make him feel excited, knowing he could either go home or to the gym before washing up and relaxing but now, he dreaded it. Had they managed to get out of work earlier, he would've had more time to practice his dancing but with how late it already was, it didn't seem like he'd get to go home at all if he really wanted to make any improvement. Jisung was heartbroken when Chan announced they'd call it a day. He had wanted to spend time with Minho to help him get out of his slump, possibly distract him from whatever was on his mind but now the older wouldn't even go home with them. The rapper shot Chan a desperate look but as long as Minho was in his adult headspace, there was nothing the leader could do. Maybe it'd make their friend feel better if he could dance, get it right and realize that he was doing well after all. At least, Chan hoped it'd play out that way because he knew Minho could be stubborn if he had made up his mind.

While the group went back to the dorm, Minho headed to the practice room to continue where he had left off this morning. Somehow it was freeing to practice without being told which parts of the choreography to practice next. It made him feel more in control, not like a silly, little marionet doing whatever he was told to do. He was an adult and a dancer with quite some experience, he could make his own decisions. Although nobody was there to yell at him this time, Minho could still hear the choreographer's angry voice in his head. He despised having someone raise their voice at him, so of course the incident left a permanent imprint in his mind. The boy knew though that the only thing he could do to prevent such things in the future, was to dance better and that was exactly what he would do, no matter how much his tired muscles protested. He'd dance better and stop holding his group back, even if it was the last thing he'd do.

Unsurprisingly, Minho only went back to the dorm in the early morning hours. Not to sleep but to take a shower and grab a bite for breakfast before heading out to their schedule with the rest of the group. He had managed to sneak inside, just before the others woke up, so he could easily pretend to have woken up and showered just a few minutes ago. The members didn't need to know that he had been out practicing all night. Chan did seem to suspect something but decided not to call him out, which the dancer was truly grateful for because he surely was struggling today. To say Minho was exhausted would have been an understatement. His muscles were on fire from the hours of dancing and the lack of sleep but he soldiered on, working through his schedule as if nothing was wrong.

One look into Minho's eyes had told Chan all the leader had needed to know. His dongsaeng's eyes were bloodshot and adorned with dark circles. They'd sometimes lose focus before the younger would pull himself together and put on a smile. Chan's heart ached as he watched his friend struggle through their schedule and the leader make sure to frequently hand the boy his water bottle so he'd stay hydrated. Minho appreciated it. He really did. He often got lightheaded from the lack of sleep and his head was pounding but he could tell his friends were subtly trying to help him out, even though he didn't deserve their help. They still cared.

There was that one moment, shortly before lunch, when Minho suddenly felt really funny. Quietly he excused himself to the restroom, shakily stumbling down the hall way. His heart was racing and no sooner than the door had closed behind him, his knees gave out and the dancer slid to the floor with his back against the wall. Minho's head pounded as a numb tingling spread throughout his body. The dark spots took a few more seconds to clear up but he was eventually able to see again. Still feeling too weak to get back up, he remained on the tiled floor for a few minutes before gripping the edge of the sink and pulling himself to his feet. Minho ran his hands and wrists under ice cold water for a bit before splashing it into his face, trying to pull himself together. He knew he was in for a long night, as he'd still have to go to the practice room after fighting through an afternoon of schedule. A hearty lunch and an irresponsible amount of coffee were the only things fueling the dancer to push through the rest of the day.