Haikyuu // Oneshots

ˏˋ 'ˎUshiTen✦ ˚

note: this is based off a fic called âme à table by saturns_ring23 on ao3, please go read it! https://archiveofourown.org/works/32754265/chapters/81265072

summary: ushijima and tendou get married and it's about as chaotic as you'd expect

content warning: mild homophobia, alcohol use

enjoy <3

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"Welcome to the Wakatoshi-Satori Bachelor Extravaganza!" Tendou sang, throwing his hands into the air, eyes shut in a wide grin. In one hand he clutched a stack of flyers detailing the night's events.

He imagined he looked amazing from this angle. He was standing in the bed of a truck with everyone else below him, like he was an actor on a stage. His spotlights were the lamps that lined the parking lot shining down on him, probably casting his red hair in fiery shades of orange.

A single set of claps came from the crowd.

"I appreciate you Tsumu," he called, pointing a finger gun and a wink to the wolf whistling blonde. "As you all know, you've been gathered here in the parking lot of this Party City to celebrate the holy matrimony of me and the lovely Ushijima," he said, gesturing to the man leaning against the truck to his side. He gave a little wave to the crowd, shying away when Tendou knelt to tousle his hair.

"I know it's sickening watching your friends find love before the rest of you," Tendou continued, wrapping his arm around Ushijima's shoulders. He planted a kiss on his temple, grinning against his head as a groan came from the crowd.

"But, hopefully tonight will be a bright spot in your dark and miserable lives."

He hopped down from the truck and began to pass out his flyers. "First order on the agenda, picking teams," he said with a malevolent grin. "The love of my life and I are team captains, and we get to choose."

"You scheduled bathroom breaks?" Kiyoomi mumbled, holding up his copy of the agenda.

"Hush, we're already behind," Tendou sang. "Semi, you're with me."

"Goshiki," Ushijima huffed, waving the bowl-cut boy his way.

"Osamu," he called, waving the chef over. They were making their own dinner, and he craved a sweet mix of French cuisine and onigiri. The budget for each party was 20 dollars, so eating out wasn't in the budget.

"Atsumu," said Ushijima, waving him over.

They went down the list, leaving one person standing alone in the parking lot. Shirabu.

Tendou internally groaned and cast a pleading look to Ushijima.

"Shirabu," Ushijima said, his grimace well hidden to most.

Ushijima didn't want to be rude by leaving him out, but it had physically pained Tendou writing his name on one of the invitations.

Semi sighed in relief beside him.

"Alright, first order of business, costumes," Tendou said, gesturing to the store beside them. The vowels (excluding Y) were out, leaving the PRTY CTY sign illuminated above them. "Go crazy boys, this is 90% of the budget."

Three hours later, Tendou's team was lounging in Suna's apartment, everyone but Osamu too drunk to move, most of them still wearing their stupid masks from the store. Osamu was busy in the kitchen, throwing together whatever he could with the contents of Suna's fridge.

As far as Tendou was concerned, that man was a god. Tendou knew chocolate, but that was about it. Osamu could mix spices and crab and vegetables and probably thirty other things and make something divine. Tendou could mix cocoa and sugar and make cute little decorations to put on cakes.