Crack oneshots

Mordecai x Twilight Sparkle

Story description:

After Twilight gets fed up with all the friendship bullshit in Equestria, she decides to leave all those toxic mf's behind and visit her childhood bsf, Mordecai.

But what Twilight doesn't know is that Mordecai has a HUGE crush on her. Would this break their friendship or make it stronger??

TW: This may be a ship between two kids cartoon characters but there's quite a lot of curse words. You've been warned.

Twilight's POV:

I finally finished packing all my stuff. Spike says it's a bad idea to leave but I can't stay here. I can't stand my so called 'friends' anymore. I flew over the universe and teleported to where Mordecai was.

I saw him eating some fried children at a psycho eatery. I remembered fried fatherless children was his favorite snack. I immediately raced inside the eatery and shouted Mordecai's name.

"Mordecai!!" I squealed, walking up to his table

"Who tf are- wait, Twilight?!" He exclaimed.

"No, it's Mickey Mouse. Of course it's me dumbass."

"It's been so long- how have you been??" He asked while taking a sip of fairy blood.

"I'm doing great. It's just..." I looked down at my crusty ass hooves. "They back stabbed me- oh but don't worry, I back stabbed them too." I winked at him. I took a seat beside him.

He scoffed "Well, it's good to see you haven't changed."

I chuckled as I sat down with him. "Waiter!!" I yelled.

The waiter walked up to our table with an annoyed expression. "What?" He says.

"I want a plate of dried fingernails please." I say.

"With booger hot sauce or plain?"

"With booger hot sauce."

He nods and walked away.

* * *

After a while of talking with Mordecai, my dried fingernails finally arrived. I immediately gobbled it up.

A week later~

Mordecai's been acting strange these past few days. He keeps asking questions out of the blue as well as asking if I am still single.

"And then there was this cockroach that crawled up his nostrils-" I got cut off by Mordecai

"T-Twilight... There's something I need to tell you.."

I turned to look at him. "And that is?"

"I've had a crush on you for the longest time now... I l-like you..." He says as he blushed like crazy.

I paused for a moment. The silence was so loud.

"Why aren't you saying anything...?" He asked.

"Oh- you we're serious? I was waiting to be Krissed" I laughed

I looked at him, he seemed disappointed. "I'm sorry.. But- I like you too......." I said shyly.

He gasped. "Y-you do?"

"Yes!" I said.

We kissed as the Suns ray's painted the skies. I'm happy that we ended up this way.

The end.

Or is it? 🤭

Lmao I'm just kidding, yeah it's over.

AN: Aight don't get offended by the whole "Fried children/fried fatherless children" stuff 💀 I had too much coffee and I think I'm starting to loose my marbles 😩💅🏻

Btw sorry if this was dry smh. I was too busy updating summer love plus my current addiction with 2 good 2 be true 💀 yeah I really need to get my life together.

Like the first story, if you have future story ideas for this crack book, don't be shy to leave a comment 😋

Oh and b4 I end this AN........... I just wanna say...... gitchie gitchie, ya ya da da 🥵🎶🎶