Leave Me Alone! (Niall Horan)

Chapter 9

Author's Note: This chapter is one that I find to be so sad, and I'm sure that you will too. Let this be a warning that I am not responsible for anything you do because of my stories ;) but I hope you enjoy them anyway. I don't want to give anything away, so I'll just let you read it yourself. Enjoy, and let me know what you think! --Ekat =D

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Hannah’s P.O.V.

            Just the sight of it made my stomach drop. I’ve never seen anything more terrifying. When I look at the 23 cuts and scars that are on my body, I feel ugly, and I like I’m not worth much to anybody. To sum it up, I felt disgusted. But looking at what’s in front of me, I don’t feel disgusted, I feel sad.

            “I do understand,” Niall muttered after I gasped. When I turned around, I found out that the sound I was hearing was Niall took his shirt off. At first I was a little surprised by this, but that feeling didn’t stay when I saw what Niall was trying to show me. I went from being surprised to feeling shocked; and it wasn’t the good kind of shock either. Here in front of me was the boy that I had fallen for hard, with similar scars to mind. Although, his weren’t on his wrists like mine were. No, his were much more intense. They were on his stomach. “I know that being in public, people are forever taking pictures of me, and eventually people would snap a picture of my wrists. So instead, I did it in a place that no one would ever look; my stomach.”

            I walked over to him, and saw that he was crying. There were tears streaming down his face, and he made no effort to try and cover them up. I can tell that he’s been hiding this from everyone, and he’s been doing it for a long time. When I examined his scars more closely, I gasped again, shocked at what I saw. Very faintly, there was a word cut into his stomach. ‘Ugly’.

            “Why?” was all I could ask? I tried wiping some of his tears away, but they just kept falling, making my efforts pointless. Watching Niall cry was making me cry. Seeing any guy cry is really sad, but seeing Niall cry is like watching a puppy get kicked… it forced you to cry too; whether you like it or not.

            “You’re not the only one who has felt so down in their life, that they feel worthless and weak,” Niall managed to say through the tears. His breathing was uneven, and he was shaking telling me that it was taking everything he had not to let everything go. “Ever since I joined One Direction with the lads, there was a huge amount of pressure put on our shoulders. I don’t exactly take pressure easily. Finally, there were so many fans that were wondering why I was even in the band, and saying that I was ugly and couldn’t sing. The lads know to some extent what they say, but I take the worst of it, and store it inside. One day, I couldn’t stop it, and I unleashed my first cut. The pain was excruciating, but the release I got from it was worth it. I can remember one time when we were at a signing, and a bunch of fans pulled me aside, and asked me to go kill myself because I was too damn ugly to live in this world. So when we got back to the hotel, I carved the message into my stomach. The lads know nothing about this, and it kills me to just think about that day, but I have these scars a reminder of one of the worst days of my life.”

            I wrapped my arms around Niall, and pulled him into me. He was breaking little by little, and I was basically holding him up. When I looked down, I saw his knees trembling. Somehow I managed to carry him over to the bed, and set him down. His lip was quivering, but the tears had slowed down a little bit. When I tried to walk over to his bathroom, he wrapped his arms around my waist, and cried into my stomach. I felt horrible seeing him like this.

            “Niall, I’m only going to get you some tissues,” I explained. “I’m not going anywhere.”

            It took a little more convincing, but he eventually let me go. I rushed into the bathroom, grabbed the entire box, not knowing how many would be enough, and made my way back over to Niall. He grabbed the tissues from my hand, and mumbled a ‘thank-you’.