Delta [Epsilon #2]

Chapter Forty

Kyra

******

Days had passed. Everything was relatively back to normal, or at least that should have been the case. Raina was back on her feet; Azure was shaken but otherwise alright; my wounds were almost healed. There was only one anomaly, one missing piece that should have been so small yet felt like a black hole in my life. 

The Delta. I hadn't seen him since. I hadn't seen him at feasts, training, or even in passing. 

The worst part? I couldn't stop thinking about him. No matter what I did to distract myself, no matter how many laps I took around the castle or in the forest, he was always on my mind. And even when he wasn't, I was always reminded of him -- be it by bumping a bruise or grazing a healing cut. Only then would I be reminded of our fight in particular. The fight I'd lost, in many ways. I hadn't been injured -- not badly, at least. Neither had the Delta. To anyone else, it may have seemed as though I'd won that fight -- forcing the Delta's hand and sending him away with a tail tucked between his legs.

But I didn't feel victorious. I hadn't won. Not physically, at least. The Delta had been stronger than me. He'd forced me into exhaustion. He'd proved to me that, no matter what I thought, I was not strong enough. Not strong enough for him, not strong enough for Azriel, and certainly not strong enough for a war.

Maybe that was just the message he wanted to get across. If that was the case, he'd succeeded. 

When I wasn't thinking about the fight, however, other things would plague my mind. Somethings, the Delta's pained face would flash before my eyes, the words of my name branded on his tongue -- Kyra. He'd called me by my name -- my real name -- for the first time, and I didn't know how to feel. It had sounded odd coming from his lips, almost alien. Maybe I should have felt victorious about it, but the anguish and regret on his face didn't bring me a sense of victory. At least, not in the way I'd hoped. 

I balled my fists. It was stupid. He'd hurt me far too many times to count, and one would assume me glad he'd felt a fraction of what I had. 

I glanced out the window. Not that it mattered, though. The Delta had probably forgotten about it all. Perhaps a woman was keeping him company, warming his bed and tempting him into forgetfulness. Maybe that would explain his absence.

The thought filled me with sudden anger, and I stood. Of course, only a man like him could be so shallow -- distracting himself with women, hiding away in his little abode. God forbid he come out and face his problems. 

I whirled and stormed from my room. Storming down the hall, I wouldn't have stopped if it weren't for the flash of gold to my left. I turned to see a girl hunched upon a green velvet sofa.

"Raina?"

Her eyes snapped to mine. They looked glazed over, the kind of sheen that accompanied a dull, aching pain. I noticed how her hair seemed to share in that dull gleam, as though every inch of joy had been sucked out of her. 

She scrunched her brows but didn't respond, her eyes not seeming to see me. I stepped forward. "Raina, are you alright?"

She blinked, then, her eyes narrowing with clarity. "Yes... yes. I'm okay."

I grimaced. "You're not. No point lying to me, I can see right through you." I smiled in the wake of my light-hearted jab, but her lips didn't return it. With a sigh, I sat next to her. "Right. Tell me what's wrong, Raina. You aren't yourself."

She shook her head, eyes locked on an unfixed point on the floor. "There's nothing wrong, Kyra. Nothing at all. I'm totally fine. I'm--"

Just then, Azure rounded the corner, and Raina seemed to snap out of whatever trance she was in. Visible relief passed through Azure's eyes as they found Raina's, however it quickly turned to pain as Raina jumped upright. Without even muttering a dismissal, she turned and stalked down the hall and out of sight.

Azure stared after her, clear pain in her gaze. I cocked my head. Something was going on between the two. 

When she approached, I turned to her. "Care to tell me what that was about?"

Azure didn't answer. Instead, she settled into the spot Raina had just occupied moments before and stared into her lap. A long pause drew between us. After what felt like an eternity, Azure turned to face me. "I have to tell you something, Kyra."

I raised my brows. "Go on."

Her throat bobbed, and I found myself bracing for whatever she'd say next. "I knew the Delta was your mate. Back when Azriel showed you that vision, I put the pieces together, and I really wanted to tell you, but... but..."

"But you didn't," I finished. I remained silent as the words washed over me, along with the implications of what they meant. I balled my fists. "Why didn't you tell me, Azure?"

She shook her head frantically. "I... I couldn't! You were going through enough stress at the time, and I honestly thought it would just be a dud mating from his end. I mean, come on, you and him? What are even the odds?"

I hung my head with a sigh. For a few moments, we sat in silence, my rage bubbling just below my skin. Part of it felt like a betrayal. I had the right to know, didn't I? Why should such information be concealed from me?

When I looked into Azure's pleading eyes to retort, however, every angry word died on my tongue. I sighed. "Alright. Whatever. It doesn't matter anymore. I mean, sure, the mating came true, but he rejected me. We hate each other's guts. What more is there to it?"

Azure nodded, casting her gaze to the floor. Her face was scrunched with guilt, and, with a long breath, I placed a hand on her back. "Look... don't worry about it. We have bigger things on our plate than some pointless mate bond."

She nodded again. "I'm sorry for not telling you."

"You were only looking out for me," I said dryly. 

Silence ensued again. Just as I thought our conversation was over, Azure spoke. "Do you think... do you think you'll try the mission again? You know, with the Southern Court?"

I shut my eyes. I wanted to say yes, but I couldn't bring the words to my lips. All I could remember was how weak I'd felt in those moments against the Delta, when I'd been faced with his full power. He'd overpowered me. He'd shown me I wasn't enough.

So, I'd just have to get stronger. 

I stood. "Not yet. I need more time. I need to hone my element and then maybe... maybe I can do it. Maybe I will finally take down Azriel."

Azure stood after me, a small smile on her lips. "I agree. I think we jumped the gun a bit there."

I gave her a side-long look. "So, you think it was a blessing the Delta stopped us?"

"Not at all," she said, but her smile told me otherwise. She clapped me on the back. "But give yourself a rest, alright? It's been a rough few days." She paused. "There's a celebration tonight, did you know? I think you should go to it."

I stared at her for a moment, at her glowing smile and bright eyes. It hadn't occurred to me before, but Azure looked so... different. 

Then I registered what she'd said. "A celebration?"

"Yes, for their god, Ignir. I heard there's going to be alcohol and dancing and music, which will be a nice change."

I nodded distantly. "I'll think about it." 

Azure clapped my back. "Take it easy, Ky. I know we have all these pressures at the moment, but you need to take opportunities to unwind. You'll explode, otherwise."

I nodded again, saying nothing as Azure sent me a parting smile before heading on her way.