Delta [Epsilon #2]

Chapter Nineteen

Raina

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Today was a reflection of my mood. Grey-flossed clouds covered the sky, shrouding the sun with its grey filter. No rain fell, but I could feel the heaviness in the air, like a misery locked behind swaths of darkness. 

I picked at a lose thread on my black pants, staring absent-mindedly at the wooden bench before me. My hairs raised as chill winds caressed my skin, hair, eyes, and I didn't know if it were the air or my mind that made the latter water. 

I felt like an idiot. A stupid, naïve idiot. The girl that existed a few days ago, the old me, was a mystery, a puzzle that could not be solved. What had made her think to instantly trust everyone? What had made her so desperate to make friends, something that had almost gotten her killed? Almost, I remembered. If it weren't for Azure.

My cheeks burned with shame. Azure Ula, the girl who cleaned up my mess. The girl who saved me despite my ignoring her. The girl who'd warned me all about this, a warning I'd foolishly ignored. 

I fisted my hands. What if those wolves had banded together and turned on her? What if she had died for my own insolence? So much could have gone wrong, and I was lucky it didn't.

I swallowed, staring down at the flimsy knife tucked into my side. 

It didn't matter. I wouldn't make that mistake again. Never. This knife was proof. Even if it was just a serrated steak knife I'd stolen from the dinner table, it was something. It was protection. A weapon. Even now, I kept my head down, eyes averted from the gazes I could feel burning into my temple. I hadn't so much as smiled at anyone these past few days. Part of me feared to, whilst the other burned with resentment. They hated us, that much was clear now. What had compelled me to smile in the first place? 

I blew out a sigh. But maybe they weren't the only ones who resented me right now. Azure had avoided me ever since that interlude. It wasn't obvious to the outside onlooker -- she still smiled and small talked, but never more than that. She kept her distance, and it had me wondering why. Was it something I did?

Of course it was, I chastised myself. You insulted her, ignored her warnings, and put her in harm's way to save you. Honestly, you deserve so much worse.

Shut up, I hissed back, hating how right the voice was. I'd been nothing but awful to Azure. I deserved this above anything. 

I glanced up, allowing my eyes to roam the grounds beyond the moat. Groups trained in the distance, and I tried not to look too long at the cobble building I recognised all-too-well. My eyes drifted, landing on a rickety log cabin. Kyra told me the Delta lived there, and when I'd given her a confused look, she'd just shrugged. 

I smirked. It was hard to imagine a brute like the Delta living in a tiny log cabin, one that almost resembled a cottage if you squinted hard enough. How could someone with such a big presence be contained to a tiny space. 

But who knows? Maybe the furniture was painted with the blood of his enemies, walls decorated with an assortment of blades and sick trophies. I wouldn't be surprised with someone like him. 

I grimaced. Poor Kyra, having to deal with him. She handled him better than I ever could. 

Just then, a flash of brown caught my eyes, and my attention was shifted. A boy around my age stared back, swaggering with something I may have once considered attractive but now set me on edge. His smile was idle and warm, and yet my body went cold. I couldn't trust anyone after what happened. Not even the cute smiley boys could fool me any more.