For The Love

Tell Me The Truth

"Listen I do love you, I know you don't believe me but what I don't know is why? You can't tell me its anything because if it was nothing you'd be sleeping here wanting to cuddle and stuff like that. I know I have made countless mistakes with you Liyala, I really do and I'm trying to remedy them. When you aren't here I have nothing to do and I'm bored because all I want is you occupying my time. Liyala you're my best friend you know that and you keep me down and keep me grounded and I just want you back here with me. I know you listen to music thinking about me. I know that you used to be in class not being able to concentrate because you were too busy thinking about me. I'm so sorry I didn't give you the same love you gave me. I just need you to understand that I'm changing, I'm really trying to change just for you, because I want you to love me like you used to, like you did hours ago. I know you Liyala almost better than anyone else in your life. The boys you hang around- Jeff, Spencer, Scott, Stiles, Chad, Miguelito, and Farao don't have the kind of love that I have for you and to be honest I don't want any of them or anyone else for that matter trying to produce that love I have for you. I need you in my life, I'm so serious Liyala, my life without you is like hell and it's boring and I hate it. I always have hated not being around you or us not talking because I can't deal with not talking to you. Like I wrote you letters and shit and kept throwing them away and I drove by your house a couple of times and then just drove off cause I didn't know what to say to you or what I should do. I still don't know what the fuck I'm doing now besides trying to convince you. I'm trying to leave all this dealing shit behind for you."

"How," she spoke softly.

"I bought some and am still in the process of buying some of the broken down buildings in the city, I remembered hearing you talk about them saying someone should help the city and do something with all this so I decided I should. I mean I have the money for it and stuff so might as well use some of it on something important."

"Okay," she barely said anything to me and it was killing me.

I got up and kneeled in front of her, "I just need you to believe in me Liyala, like you always used to."

She stood up and I had my head in her lap, I wrapped my arms around her ass,
"I never stopped believing in you Lee."

"You stopped believing that I loved you though, I know you did, 'cause you left me by myself without saying goodbye."

"Because I needed to be away from you, Lee my whole life surrounds you. My parents died and I moved in with you, but even after that, Lee you took my virginity and you are my first in a whole lot of things. You were my best friend and like an actual partner for me, but that's not what you wanted. All you wanted from me was sex no strings attached and don't deny it because I know its true."

"I'm telling you now that I've changed and that's not what I want from you now and I'm sorry about before."

"Lee I can't go through anymore shit with you I really can't."

"Just give me this one last chance Liyala move back in with me." She said nothing, "I can't live without you again Liyala, I can't keep doing this without you. I know its hard for you to be without me too, you not letting the cuts on your body heal and you getting thinner. Why aren't you eating?" She still didn't respond, "I know you think I don't notice these little things but the truth is I do - like all the time."

"Okay," she said in an almost taunting voice as if she was going to say 'Okay And?'

"I just want to love you, I just want you to let me love you Liyala," I held her waist and put my head on her stomach hugging her close. I kissed her stomach.

"Did you know you're the only person I've had sex with, like ever. Everyone else I gave excuses, you have the only dick that has been inside of me, the only tongue, the only fingers Lee. Lee could you even say the same, am I the only person you've ever said you loved or touched or ever fucked."