The Girl Next Door - Ellenor Percival

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER THREE: ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?

As soon as I settle into the hug, I feel a pinch on my left forearm.

"Oh, Lottie I'll just tell you all my deepest darkest secrets, worry the life out of you then disappear, delete all my social media platforms and block your phone number.'' Lottie was never someone to speak in long full sentences, she was blunt and to the point. Her outburst is very understandable but also so out of character. She doesn't crack, what has happened?

I step back and just blink processing her words. But she invades that distance immediately. Lottie is 5,11 yet she still finds a way of invading my personal space. 7 inches in height difference but she bridges the gap with ease. So we are now bare inches apart, I'm sorry, what is going on. First, she's here, like here, like the brambles, Red Harbour Avenue. Then I get a hug worthy of those complications where soldiers return home and a pinch to follow. Now she's looking like she's going to annihilate me. Do I find this attractive? I'm taking note of this for my next therapy session. Back in the debating days, she had this look that would spark this fire in my belly. And it's been a while, but it still works. It still works.

"Yes fleur, since you need clarification you."- she prods her index finger into my left shoulder, though not breaking eye contact or our distance - "dropped a bombshell and disappeared off the face of the earth."

I've read too many romance novels to not enjoy this. I'm a terrible human being. It's a good job I have the self-control of a saint because The urge to tip my lips upwards and piss her off even further just so we can go back to normalcy the back and forth of our hatred is incredibly tempting. Her hating me is something which shouldn't give me as much comfort as it does. Everybody's spent these last two years tiptoeing around me, babying me, but Lottie Simmons never once bowed out. But I'm mature! That's a lie. I'm choosing to own up? I'm choosing to be better. It's been too long since someone put me in my place and called me out on my bullshit. See I can call myself out, and then proceed to do absolutely Nothing to resolve that, that's okay. But she'll never let me sit a debate out.

For clarification, Lottie and I proceeded to work together from year 10 through to year 12. Technically "working together" is an incredibly generous term. 3 years went from a new friendship, my first friend, to a rivalry which ended in me breaking down on her shoulder. That was the last day she saw me, and that was the last day I stepped foot in that college building. I hate how I should be somewhat happy to see her. I'm still reminded of those periods when my energy was depleted and I didn't have the energy or the passion or lust for anything anymore. I just became a hollow and numb version of my older self. The conversation she's referring to is when I admitted how much I was struggling before the final debate of the first year in college. My first year in college took everything out of me so during the last month I told my parents I was deferring my final year, I came up with an excuse about wanting to scout for a local apprenticeship to be more practical. Admittedly I was drowning rapidly in an everflowing pool of these unrealistic expectations I've set upon myself over the years. I wasn't going to sit my A-levels and do anything less than subpar, I would not allow it. So I went to the person I could trust. I told Ms H everything immediately and asked if there was any way I could shadow her for the next year in her lesson, Thankfully she pulled some strings. So that brings us almost up to speed. Back to the present, where I can finally piece together a sentence.

"Did you just pinch me?"

"Did you just disappear from the face of the earth, scare the living daylight out of me? Hmm, yes Spencer for clarification about you and your games, whatever the fuck we shared was just a distraction, I moved on." Fair. I didn't realise how much this would upset her.

"Flo"- oh it has been a while since the nickname got dropped she must be serious- "you tell me and I quote 'i'm struggling and I'm not sure I can handle next year' then disappear, no phone call no text or email I'm not sure. Nothing." She's not letting me speak or explain. Though truthfully neither would I.

"Simmons, I'm sorry" all these emotions I've buried so deep these two years are resurfacing and I'm not sure what I can do to rectify this argument. I can't help but want to break the minuscule distance between us, and just hold her, just anything. She has this face, and it's so infuriatingly beautiful, but I'm just in shock. As I said, Lottie Simmons is the singular most stubborn person you'll ever meet. Her being a sight for sore eyes pretty much just made debating more fun. You have to hand it to her though, she doesn't take shit from anyone. It's a harsh bittersweet reminder of my old self. The fragments of me I've lost over these past two years.

"Fowler." She corrects.

"Huh?" the plot thickens? How is the plot thickening?

"It's Lottie Fowler, the divorce got filed, it's my mum's maiden name."

"Shit, Lot I'm so sorry." nicknames are apparently in full force in this reunion.

"Thanks for the cake Fleur, you should be on your way now."

"But-" I can see the emotion in her eyes, and it genuinely pains me. Lottie although being the person who makes me the angriest, she and those eyes that hair. Yeah, no I'm going to stop. She's the most infuriating human I've ever met but even she didn't deserve to be in the crosshairs of the backlash of how I decided to up and leave. This is just more proof that opening up was a shitty idea and I will never speak again. Another lie. At Least I'm self-aware, come on.

" If you're going to plead your case, at least restrain yourself from not trying so hard to smirk," Abort mission, abort.

"This shouldn't be enjoyable for you, why are you smiling?"

"It's been a while, fowler. It's been a long time"

" you know more than anyone the distance"- she again points to the two of us- "was never down to me."

She elevates her hand in the space between us to indicate

"no, this conversation was over as soon as I saw you". I don't want to push my luck. Back then I was so caught up in making the lie believable for everyone around me I completely forgot about the one person who knew, who held that secret with her. How does one fix an unfixable situation?