The Girl Next Door - Ellenor Percival

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER FIVE: SHAKE ON IT

"I should've been honest and messaged you that I was dropping out and I apologise for leaving you in the dark, but I really can't explain." I'd rather get it out now than have to explain. Lottie has never even been a particularly vicious or malicious person. We just argued because we were similar, and at that point in my life I didn't like who I was becoming and being opposite someone who's so infuriatingly similar was too much.

"You kept the Polaroid." She moves from the end of my bed and repositions herself at my window seat so I'm forced to meet her eyes.

"Of course."

"I crushed you that day." No lies were spoken.

"You didn't crush me, you just merely surprised me. I still disagree with your argument." Normalcy.

"A good debater doesn't need to agree with the argument they've been handed, to win."

"So do you want to go on this walk or not?" For a plan, I was so against it. I do genuinely want to speak to her. And create this truce.

"I'll be moving again in 6 months so you don't have to worry yourself about my existence." So I haven't seen her in a Year and now I only have 6 months maximum. What kind of sick joke from the universe is this?

"You don't even want to catch up? The view by the lake is pretty. You can appreciate that."

"You left Fleur. We wouldn't have to catch up if you just spoke with me in the first place. You focused your days on debating focusing on communication but you couldn't even get that right."

"Lot, I said I'm sorry but I would like it if we could get out of my room and go somewhere nicer to clear the air."

"Why should you decide? I would like an explanation. We almost"-

-"I know what happened Lot and I'm sorry for leaving you high and dry but I had to. You've got to believe me. I had to go" I'm practically pleading now. And my neck is getting itchy and my foot is tapping on the plush carpet under my foot. What I hate most about anxiety is that all the symptoms it displays are almost identical to how I felt when I was experiencing my first brain bleed. So every single time I get anxious it's like my brain is back there again. This has happened once in front of Lottie and I refuse to let it happen again. Before I can register that I need to start my exercises and begin my mental mantras to bring myself back to earth, a hand is on my knee. I realise in the past few seconds my head has dropped forward to look at the ground and my elbows are embedded on my thighs. I have my head in my hands and I can feel a singular tear travelling down my cheek. The tear's coolness brought my temperature down just a little.

"Let's go get some air." She's speaking a lot softer now.

"I'm so sorry." The hand grasping my knee squeezes tighter so I meet her eyes.

"I can tell." She plasters her face with a small but genuine smile, you can tell she's still pissed but as I said, she isn't a horrible person.

"I'm so sorry Lot, can't believe I was so selfish."

"Let's calm you down before we go on our walk." Her voice hasn't raised a singular decibel since my anxiety spiked. Something tells me she can read me more than anyone else because typically people don't recognise when my panic is brewing.

"Do you go with the others a lot?"

"Every Sunday, we have a clearing in the woods which I hid. We created it when we were kids. We go there and catch up. But erm, I'm not sure if it's going to be a weekly thing anymore. But the view is nice." I can see in her expression she's scrambling to find a change in the subject because she can see my expression drop at the mention of all my friends turned family moving to university. And I'm the only one staying in the brambles.