In Love With Them Both.

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"Have you ever felt so absolutely overwhelmed that you couldn’t breathe? You couldn’t think? Nothing made sense or even mattered anymore? Well that’s where I should have been right now but I was just too tired to care. Inside I was freaking out and the little me inside was screaming and running around in circles but I was literally too tired with all of this to care.

We stood there in front of our door. From one end to the other our entrance was blocked with that bright yellow police tape with the black lettering telling us not to go in. Paul reached up and pulled down each of the different pieces before dropping them on the ground. Alex pushed the already cracked door open all the way so we could get in.

Stepping over the police tape I walked in to survey the carnage that was once my wonderful home. My heart stopped to see the utter destruction in front of me. The fact that someone had done this was just too hard to grasp right now. Stepping around the bookshelf that was knocked over and over the different books and papers scattered on the floor I walked over to the couch where I dropped the bags in my hand.

With the back of my hand I brushed off all the shattered glass that was on top of our little coffee table from all the photos that were broken. I picked up one of the pictures and sighed heavily seeing that someone had scrawled the word slut across my face and drew a big ‘X’ through Paul’s face.

Really? Did he not think that we weren’t going to figure out it was him? There weren’t that many people who were after me so who else would trash our place and then call me a slut? Dropping the picture on the table I turned around to see Paul and Alex at the door seething with rage.

“It’s not worth it.” I told them softly.

“What do you mean?” They asked both staring at me with a confused look of their own.

“He’s not worth your anger. Honestly he’s messed up and he needs help.”

“He needs to get fucked up and then maybe he won’t do what he’s doing.” Alex commented.

“It won’t change who he is. I promise he just needs help.” I replied softly knowing that anyone that would do something like this wasn’t all the way there.

“Why are you so calm about this?” Paul asked looking at me suspiciously.

“Because I’m just tired of it all. I’m tired of having to look over my shoulder at every second of the day wondering if he’s going to pop out at any second and kill one of you. I’m more worried about you two then I am about me. He wants me so he won’t hurt me but he doesn’t like either of you so your lives don’t matter to him.”

“So what are you saying?” Alex asked his voice no longer strong and confident but rough and nervous.

“I’m saying that we need to be careful.” I said with a sad smile knowing where he thought I was going with this conversation. “As much as I care for you two I don’t think that breaking up with either of you is the best solution right now. I’d be helpless and sad without you two.” I replied stepping closer to them.