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note: if your wondering why this part is different, it's because I changed it, I din't like how confusing, and emotional and long it was. I feel this rewrite is more entertaining so yea enjoy!💕
So I have this really sick concept that I can get everything I want through simply talking to people. This was a situation I couldn't do that in lol. So to make a long story short I didn't think much of it. It was like whatever, but basically this was at a time where I had super low self esteem. And he just happened to give me a lot of positive attention. For the sake of confidentiality I'm gonna call him Mr B. Now he wasn't an average teacher he was character in way. He likes heavy metal, he wore earrings, he used to be a dancer actually, and he was very intelligent. You could see how I easily became infatuated with him (even some of my friends had crushes on him too) and obviously I don't think his intention was ever to be flirtatious towards me. But in a way he always teased. One day he'd be crazy over me and compliment me. (He's even texted me once telling me he missed me.) And the next day he'd act like he wants nothing to do with me and like I'm a little kid. (Which I hate) but it makes since I was super vulnerable at the time, a people pleaser, insecure. And wanted any validation I could get. (embarrassing I know) But it was so weird, I slowly began to fall for him. And we used to be able to have long conversations but by the end of the year I found it hard to even talk to him. I realize it now that whatever I felt for him was complete lust. Which I am ashamed of now but for a very long time I was sure was love. I always do this though. I need up falling for older guys (especially teachers) and it never goes anywhere obviously. But I know this I superr naive to say and it really shows my age. But I honestly thought he liked me. Not in a sexual way like I did but ya know it felt like if were the same age and just crossed paths with each we would have been together. Idk if that's weird to say. And it doesn't help that he's married and has kids. Not to mention that he's white. Which goes against everything I believe in. It makes me so upset that I got wrapped up in him so much.
Now I'm gonna write some stories. Because the last time I wrote them I wasn't totally over him like I am now 8.3.22
