Excerpts of My Thoughts

Loneliness

His head hung low as he strolled past countless stone slabs, dead grass crunching beneath his worn-out Converse. His fingers curled around the white flowers gently. He wondered just how many other people here had the same story as him. A shaky breath left his lips and he closed his eyes, eventually arriving. He had memorized the path here. He knew it by heart, with the number of times he'd visited. He sat down and looked up. It'd begun to grow dark; gray clouds patched the sky and a chilly breeze brushed across his skin. Another weak breath passed between his lips before he spoke.

"I've missed you."

Me too. He heard in his head.

"I'm sorry," a lump growing in his throat. He clenched his fists, his nails digging into the palm of his hand until he remembered about the daisies.

"Ah. sh-" he muttered under his breath, quickly letting and placing them on the stone. "Sorry again."

His heart felt heavy and a wave of sadness washed over him. It was almost suffocating. His eyes closed again and took several breaths, hoping it would calm him down. Memories of her came flooding back the second he let his guard down. The wind howled around him, it sounded like it was longing for something. It reminded him of himself.

A rumble from above shook him out of his thoughts. He almost flinched. If she was still here, they would be reading by the fire together. And he would tease her for being scared of the thunder. A blanket of rain came drizzling moments later, bouncing off of his skin.

He shivered. His hair soon became damp, and water dripped down his face. His eyes looked just about as dead as the grass here, which was well past the point of revival.

The numbness started to seep in until he couldn't feel himself anymore. If only the rain could wash his loneliness away, too. 

- May 22, 21