But if one of us dies//Billie eilish

{pt 7}

(MAJOR! Tw) THIS CHAPTER IS DARK AND TALKS ABOUT abuse, substance abuse, SA!!! And more! Please if your sensitive DO NOT! READ!

*Billies Pov*

"Brandon it's already late. Everyone from the party is almost gone.. are you not stopping by? You've been out all night already.." I said in a soft nervous voice.

"Oh my fucking god billie, why are you always smothering me and shit. I said I'd be there, I wanted to hang out with my friends after the restaurant and go watch a movie. It hasn't even been long. Your so fucking clingy." When he said that it kinda hurt.  I didn't wanna act like it tho because it would just make things worse.

"Okay I'm sorry, I just miss you- I haven't got to see you much in the last few months. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal if we just hung out for a hour or two.." I murmured

"It's not a problem at all billie. But when I'm out stop bugging me for christ sake. i don't even know if I can even make it, I'm trying to ok. I'll talk to you later." he shouted them hung up on my face. No I love you no goodbye.

I tried not to think much of it because its a every day things plus I'm glad he's having fun. I just sometimes wish I could make him entertained too. Not just parties and being with the guys, or other girls.

I feel stupid about what I did after but In my defense, I felt like I was losing him. I Don't even think he sees me with the eyes he used to when we first got together. He said I was his one and only.

That he never wanted to be apart, all that corny shit. I never minded it when he said it. But I guess somewhere along the line I stopped being what he craved. Maybe it was just because he was older. A lot older like he had his life already started and shit I was just another waste of time.

I have been crying for the past few minutes. So I went to the bathroom to wash my face with cold water before coming into my room.

I kinda forgot Jamie was in there. she's knocked out. Like, drop-dead slumped. Drooling and all. Which made me laugh a little and honestly brightened my mood.

"Jamie, wake up," I whispered in her ear while shaking her shoulder slightly. She let out a groan before opening her eyes. "Oh shit I fell asleep, I'm sorry my ba-" she said before I quickly cut her off saying

"Shut up, don't even worry about it. Are you feeling better?" I asked softly.

"I'm great, Billie. Than-" she started to say before I shoved her and told her not to mention it. "I would have done it for anyone. I get it."

She smiled at me and asked me how I was.

I paused for a little and went on to say I was well! she looked at me blankly for a few seconds after. "Do you want to talk about it.?"

I sighed deeply and looked down at my hands to play with my rings. After a little, i started explaining to her how I felt and about me and Q. I told her about how we haven't seen each other in god knows how long and I just don't feel like a priority.

We spent the next 20 minutes just talking. In my room on are backs, I'm not sure why I even trusted her with everything. Since she's a fan she'd probably go around and saying everything. And we'll there starts the drama.