The Prophet And The Redeemer

Now What Indeed

Andy was picking at the skin around his nails as he sat on the back lounge floor of the bus. His anxiety was at an all-time high, and he felt lightheaded from the oncoming panic attack that was sure to happen. Andy made the mistake of going on Twitter and looking at things he was tagged in.

People were really blaming him for the band not touring at the moment.

If only they knew.

That's why he had written Know One. People thought they knew what was going on and who was right and who was wrong. They thought they knew everything because they watched some interviews and followed him on fucking instagram. Sadly, for them, it wasn't as simple as 'Andy's ego got too big to be in a band.'

God, he wished that was the case. He could fix it if it was all on him.

The tour cycle was always meant to be short. This was a test run to see if they could make things work now that they've had a break from each other.

Nope.

If anything, things had gotten worse.

Ashley had gotten worse.

Andy didn't know how it took him so long to see past that mask. He blamed himself for ever trusting that man, let alone allowing him to join Black Veil Brides. He felt sick every time he thought of how bad things were now.

He barely talked to the guys anymore. Sure, Jake and Jinxx were kind enough to come to the Los Angeles show to see him and show support, but the awkward tension was still palpable. Everyone knew the band was over at this point. Seeing them was just a painful reminder of how Andy couldn't save BVB. It hurt more than anything. He couldn't help but wonder if the guys blamed him too. Did they hate Andy for this decision? Did they hate everything going on within the Black Veil camp, or was he just being dramatic and selfish?

Andy was hyperventilating at this point. he dropped his head into his hands, gripping his hair tight enough to sting painfully, but he couldn't feel it. all he could feel was the panic, dread, and despair consume him.

He didn't want any of this to happen. He wanted to go back to when things weren't so fucking hard. The tears finally began to fall, soaking his palms, and running down his tattooed wrists.

Andy shook uncontrollably, sobs wracking his body as everything that he had been bottling up for the past year poured out of him like a tidal wave of heart break. He hated this. He didn't want to be alone; he didn't want just his initials on the kick drum, he wanted his band.

Everything Andy loved and worked so fucking hard for was gone forever. Contracts, and NDAs made it feel like it was fruitless to even try. All Andy could do was refuse to tour and let the band bleed dry. He still owned half of the band. nothing could happen unless he agreed to it. Even if he didn't; he was the frontman after all. No one Would come to a show without him there. There was no point unless they wanted to do karaoke or some shit.

 Andy felt so unbelievably alone. His chest hurt, and his eyes were so swollen from the crying that they burned, but he couldn't stop. the dam broke, and there was no fixing it until Andy let it all out.

As pathetic as it sounded; Andy wanted nothing more than to call his mom in that moment. He so desperately needed comfort, and Amy Biersack was the first person to come to mind. He wanted to call her, but knew it was far too late at night in Cincinnati to be calling her. She was asleep and had work in the morning. She didn't need to have to deal with her adult son having a meltdown.

 Andy's fingers were bleeding from the picking, the blood smeared through his dark hair, but he paid no mind to it. Andy was just so tired of doing all of this on his own. Yanni tried to be there for him, but he had a job to do. Blasko was one call away, but he was in California. None of the guys could/would be of help because they probably blame him for everything just like the fans do.