Tharntype fic- Compounding factors

Chapter zero

Dear Tharn,

This letter is not easy for me to write. You are so good with people, it comes so easily to you, but communicating has never been my strong suit. I don't know where I should start or how I should begin. Starting with "I'm sorry" might not be the best option but...

I'm sorry.

I would love to tell you all of this in person. You should know by now how much I hate hiding or being seen as a coward. But for the moment, this is the best that I can do, so here it goes....

You made me so angry in the beginning, Tharn. How did you dare to make me love you so insanely? I was okay living all by myself. I was okay, because that loneliness was my safe place. But then you appeared, with your music and your dreams, and you changed my world. Well, for better or worse, you became my world. But I didn't care, I was too swept up in it all, in the music, in the attention, in the love. In you.

I hope you never give up on your music, Tharn, because I have never seen anyone so in love with anything or anyone.

Not even me.

Like I said, I never wanted to love you, but you were always too caring with me, too loving. And I guess that's what I needed after what I'd lived through.

I never stood a chance.

But, I've had plenty of time to reflect on all this. And the more I have thought about it, the more sure I've become, I love you, Tharn. I managed to pretend that wasn't true for so long. You have no idea how hard I tried not to love you. But I couldn't help it, and here we are.

And I'm sorry for that too.

Anyway despite all of that, or perhaps because of it, I'm thankful to you because you taught me the meaning of love. I might not have always loved you the way you deserved to be loved, (I may have even broken your heart!) But now, starting today, I'm going to give myself a better way to love you. A way that will hopefully hurt less.

For a long time, I thought that protecting you was what you needed, and that's why I tried to protect you with all that I have. But you know what? A bird won't fly If you don't give them their freedom. Sometimes, the best way to love someone is just to give them space to be themselves. I just wanted you to know, I'm going to give you that space. It's yours.

I want you to be yourself. Because I love that self.

Anyway, all of this is to say. You don't need to worry about me messing things up for you anymore. You can move on without me, and I will do my damndest to do the same.

Sorry If this sounds like a break up. Maybe it is. But it's the best thing for both of us.

-Signed, Yours Always

****NOTE FROM THE AUTHORS****

Hi! We are Friending as friends (you will understand our nickname someday If you reach far enough with this fic) 2 friends writing from the opposite ends of the world.

We have most of this fic written! (60 some chapters!) So you can count on a chapter every wednesday until we catch up with ourselves! (We are also planning the occasional sunday for some short extra chapters) :)

Let us know If you like the fic! Enjoy your reading! <3