Tharntype fic- Compounding factors

Chapter 38: ...is the girl (Thorn's PoV)

May 3rd

I sprint out.

I scan the dark front yard, but I don't see Aer anywhere. Shit. I drove her here and I'm not sure how far she could have gotten on her own. But far be it for me to underestimate Aer.

I look down the street in front of my house, and....there, halfway down the block I see the girl who may or may not have almost been my girlfriend. Its nearly pitch black and Aer had been decked out head to toe in black denim, as though she knew she would have to vanish into the night.

I start running, noting in the back of my mind that if this is a stranger I might be a second away from being pepper sprayed. Hell, if it's Aer I might still be a second away from being pepper sprayed!...or kicked...or generally kravmagahed on...

The figure stops but doesn't turn around.

"Aer"

"Hmm."

"I'm so sorry"

She turns around to face me and her expression makes me feel awful. Her eyes are shining, as if she's about to cry. But I know she won't, at least not in front of me.

"You shouldn't be" she says hoarsely "you didn't say anything bad to me, so it's fine. You should go back and celebrate with your family. Tell your parents that I'm sorry for leaving like this" then she smiles. It's not a real smile. It looks more like a smile you could see in a movie, performed by a very bad actor. "We will see each other tomorrow, after work"

And then she starts walking again. Away from me.

Before I can think about what I'm doing I grab her wrist and pull her around to face me. She stares back at me, defiant.

"No, it's not fine!" I say "My parent's behavior was inexcusable. If they aren't going to apologize, I should! But also, you have to understand that they have put a lot of expectations on me."

"A lot of expectations put on you? And what does that have to do with me?"

"Well... I don't know... I mean. I know. The girl I date, I guess....she has to be from a good family and know all of the rules for good etiquette and... I don't know, they want me to date someone who can rule an empire. You could have at least tried to pretend..."

Her face.

Her face is a poem, and I want to kill myself for telling her about my family's bullshit. I don't know if I should apologize again and beg her pardon or if I should just walk away from her and live out my destiny as prescribed by my parents. I can see it, me, dating a girl who is "appropriate". Running my parents' companies, building their empire. Raising the perfect family, one son, one daughter and an old drooly dog in a charming craftsman house. I could do it.

Or at least I could have done it before I knew her. Before I knew that I would be closing myself away, denying any part of me that would have wanted more. I think I deserve better.

I look at her.

This girl...

She's silent. I don't know what to say. It just feels like everything is falling apart, as if the two of us had been living in a separate world. And for a bit of time, it was perfect. It was so fucking perfect and real, that I almost believed that it could be true. And it hurts. It hurts that now here we are, standing halfway down my block, looking at each other without saying a word. Realizing that our special world had never existed. That all this time we have just been coexisting. Ignoring the fact that we have no place in each other's worlds.

If I take anything away from this terrible night, it's this. There is no hope for us to be happy together. My family will never accept her, and we are condemned to hurt each other if we just keep pretending that our fates are not already written.