Always There

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Six

Songs for this chapter:
• Always Be My Baby - Mariah Carey
• Meet Me At Our Spot - THE ANXIETY, WILLOW, & Tyler Cole
• Photograph - Ed Sheeran

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Six:

Lexi's POV

"I can't believe you're already twenty-three."

I look up from my vanity to find Charlie standing in the doorway of my bedroom. He's wearing a faded pair of dark-wash jeans and an old sweatshirt from his alma matter. He's begun to grow a beard, and even though it ages him and makes him look so different from the Charlie that I'm used to, it also makes him look more mature and maybe just a little more ready to be a father.

I set down my lipgloss tube. "We are the same age, you know."

Charlie chuckles a little and leans his weight against one side of the doorway. The corners of his eyes crinkle, but I can still see how exhausted he is. "I know. But you're still my baby sister."

Now it's my turn to laugh. "Well, you can't call me a baby anymore since you're having an actual baby in a matter of months."

Charlie exhales loudly. "It's kind of crazy, isn't it?"

I spin around on my vanity stool so that I can face my brother completely. "Yeah. It's . . ." I pause for a moment and look down at my feet. "Did you think that this is how our lives would turn out?"

Charlie lifts an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

I find myself toying with my promise ring, twisting it around my finger as I let out a small, nervous laugh. "Back when we were kids, and the four of us were sort of inseparable. Did you think you and Jazzy would get together?"

Charlie looks down at his feet for a few moments, considering, before he answers me.

"No."

I feel my eyebrows begin to lift, a little surprised by the one-worded answer, but I force them back down to hide my emotions. "No?"

Charlie shakes his head and reaches up to push a hand through his auburn hair. It's gotten long and a little bit unruly, but that's how he used to let it grow before we hit high school and he started to care about what girls thought of him.

I find myself frowning. "Are you happy? Even if it's not what you expected."

This makes Charlie smile, a big smile that shows his teeth and crinkles his eyes. "Mhm. Happier than I ever thought I would be. I've got a great girlfriend and a baby coming soon. I also have Jazzy's love, which felt so unattainable for all these years but now it's mine. I couldn't be happier." Charlie pauses and cocks his head to the side. "How about you, Lex. Did you think you'd ever become a Bradshaw?"

I fiddle with with silky-smooth material of my dress, stalling because I have no clue what my answer is. Did some secret little part of me always hope that Bryce would love me as much as my itty bitty five-year-old brain loved him? Of course. But did I ever think someone as perfect for me as Bryce could ever love me back?

"No," I tell Charlie. "My life was so unlucky for so, so many years. I didn't think I'd ever be lucky enough to have the one thing I've always wanted the most."

At this, Charlie's smile dims. "That's really depressing, Lex."

I shrug. "It's the truth. He's all I've ever needed to be happy. In my head it's always been me and Bryce against the world. He's been my best friend since the first day I met him, and I think I fell in love with him the very second I saw him. I would give up anything to have him."