Deception & Depression

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"autumn, it's time to go."

"okay" i say as i sit up from my bed rubbing my tired eyes.

new home once again.

this has also never been foreign to me, moving from one family to another.

i reluctantly get up from the bed and look around and laugh, not a happy laugh, more of a my-life-is-shit laugh.

as i apply clothes to my body i can't help but examine my body and notice the weight i've lost.

i'm not skinny at all, not even close.

skinny jeans, chucks taylors, & band tee. the everyday outfit. black also is always in the mix, no matter what.

"are you ready?" a lady says

"always." i say quiet

"thank the family for keeping you on your way out now you hear?" she says as she leads me down the stairs while i carry my suitcases with my belongings.

"yup." i express.

as we inch closer to the door i notice the family at the door with pity looks on their faces.

none of them say a word to me, what can you say? thanks for staying with us for two months even though we never talked to you and you were always cooped up in that room so we rarely seen you sorry we called to have you sent off too.

i don't stop to say anything i just look ahead and whispering a 'bye' as i exit the house.

what was i suppose to say? sorry i couldn't have talked to you but thank you for letting me stay here even though i hated it and felt weird.

yeah probably should've just said that.

"you need to appreciate what they've done for you." the lady says

"kay.." i say distantly as I climb into the black car and watch the rain slide down the windows.

"are you excited?" the lady clasps her hands together

"sure.." i say watching two rain drops race down the window i'm looking out of

"are you going to try to talk this time?" the lady inputs

no.

"why not.." i shrug and write my name on the foggy window but wipe it away and it leaves my hand wet.

"are you taking your medicine?" she asks

i groan, getting annoyed by her questions and friendliness.

"yea.." is all i respond

"we should be there in a few hours, you just take a nap." the lady says taking the hint

"alright.." and i attempt to try to sleep as my head bangs and vibrates against the window getting my hair damp due to the dew on the window.

maybe this new place won't be so bad. maybe i can be happy.

i take in the world through my window. i love rainy days. they match my mood.

new home, be good to me.

✖️