mᑲ𝗍і ᥴ᥆mᥱძᥡ skᥱ𝗍ᥴһᥱs

MBTI as Villains

INTJ: heh, even if you do survive my labyrinth of death, you'll have to face three more carefully placed puzzles before you ever find me. Heh heh! Okay dude, come on! You've been here for hours. You're not even going to see half the evil stuff that I've done! Just walk to the left you idiot! No, the other left! Why am I surrounded by idiots!

INTP: What use are your weapons against my brain power? There's nothing you can do to hurt me! Oh no, you have a group with you. There's like twelve of you? ugh that's so many people. Just let me escape into my solitude before I fight you! I'll be back! Don't go anywhere!

ENTJ: how dare you speak to me, I do not concern myself with the opinions of sheep. I'm achieving my goals and disregarding everything else in my life such as loved ones and my past moral systems. I will achieve my dreams at the expense of everything in my life. What happens after I achieve my goals? Huh, I never really thought about it. *Inner most thoughts* The prophecy is true!

ENTP: we'll hello you fool, nice to finally meet you inside my lovely lab... I mean lair! Or lair lab? WHATEVER, I've been waiting for you, hero! You've followed into my trap! now be prepared to be destroyed with philosophy and truth! Until I make your brain rot and make you question everything! Wait, you just called me something rude? How dare you, you little piece of shit! *obnoxious yelling* I SHALL TAKE MY REVENGE FOR YOU SAYING THAT! *two phones ring, ENTP is calling both of them at once* oh hey INFP, INFJ! I love you two so much! We should both hang out more! Bye! Now back to MY REVENGE! I'm gonna beat you up so bad you'll have a chin, YOU'LL ALL HAVE CHINS!

ISFP: I may be the bad guy in your story, but I'm not a bad guy. If any of my henchmen mistreat a sleeping kitten. They get the axe. And by that I mean I fire them. Fire them from a cannon into a lava pit. And then I throw a bunch of axes at them. And by axes I mean feathers! They have tiny axes tied onto them. They don't actually work very well. Heh heh, it's a work in progress. Anyway, prepare to die, from kindness!

ISTP: Why am I evil? well you see. I'm great at getting things done. I disregard both others and my own emotions, and then vanish without a trace. Becoming the villain was the obvious option for me. Also I didn't want to be an architect anymore. You don't know how badly that job does to my back problems! No, being evil was the only option.

ESFP: look I didn't plan for this to happen. I just fell into the business of evil, but I think villains also have the best aesthetic. I mean check me out! No seriously, check me out! I think this dress really goes with my hair. I love how it has such a villainous aesthetic, I think the gold dress really brings out my brown eyes and hair. So, anyway do you want to go to a party once you're done with being a hero and fighting me? No, okay then, I'll have to ask my goons to party with me then, just like every other night. bye!

ESTP: Heh you foiled my plans once again hero man, but it's no biggie. I will get you next week. Wait... what do you mean I'm going to prison for realzies this time? I thought we had an agreement. I keep doin' crime and you make your money by catching me and then I escape! You need me dude. What would you do without me? Get a desk job! That'd be such a waste.

ENFP: we're not so different, you and I. Well except for the part where I'm an agent of uncontrollable chaos and you're a pillar of order and stability, whatever! The point is, just because we're trying to destroy each other right now, doesn't mean we can't be friends outside of work. Hey uh, what's your phone number? Let's contact each other whenever you wanna hang out. When I'm not plotting world domination that is.

INFJ: I cannot believe you have the nerve to call me evil, when you're the one who barged in here into my chamber of catastrophe and tried to steal my artifact of annihilation...oh, now I'm starting to see where you're coming from. But even still, you are evil, not I. And I shall take you down with my poetry and fluorescent words. And control your mind without you knowing.... Forget I said that last bit, I don't want people to know that about me... because they won't trust me anymore and I want to use them to my advantage, and I can't if they don't trust me...

INFP: what is my villainous motivation? Do you seriously think I would be down here, if I was motivated? No, I'd be out in the world writing fantasy novels and having passionate relationships right now. All the bad stuff I'm doing now, is just my way of processing my pain and of what others have done to me in the past. You must be really shocked to see that I am the villain here, I know how people perceive me as innocent and believe I cannot do wrong. Well do you honestly think I wouldn't use that perception to my advantage? And with that I shall take my revenge! Without killing anyone that is... because that'd be against my moral code.

ENFJ: villainy doesn't have to mean violence. At my lovely estate evil evolved. I take pride in the fact that my goons aren't just disposable goons. Instead I use them in order to work with me on my schemes. Also they give me company. Oh, you're a hero? Get ready to hear my backstory on why I became a villain so the audience feels bad for me. Prepare yourself for sadness!

ISTJ: I wouldn't call myself evil. I guess I'm perceived as this horrible guy, but I'm just doing my job, like putting the red stamp of approval on things like blowing up a whole galaxy... okay well uh. I bet the galaxy had it coming though. But whatever, it's not that bad. Oh fu-

ESFJ: Now look man, nothing personal but tonight, you sleep with the fishes! And when I say it's nothing personal I really mean that. You see this whole Mafia thing, it's just a family tradition. I wanted to be a florist but my dad said no! Heh heh, It's why they call me Frankie Fresh actually, because of you know, the fresh flowers... anyway. This is gonna hurt me way more than it hurts you! *cries*

ISFJ: my path into darkness has been a wild one, this one time I tried to throw a gum wrapper into a trash can and it missed, and I sorta just left it there. but that one act of evil caused me to spiral out of control and now I leave shopping carts in the store. Oh the humanity, how evil I am!

ESTJ: yes being a villain has its perks, but for me, nothing compares to throwing one of my goons into a volcano. And what's hilarious is that the other goons continue to do my bidding, the idiots... although I worry they might revolt against me someday though. Hey goon! Get back to work!