Unravel | Jeverus

Part 17

If you asked James what his comfort zones were he would have two answers for you. Severus and when he was on a broom in the air.

He can feel safe while 10 meters in the air and when he was in Severus' vicinity, otherwise he was overwhelmed by his own thoughts and trauma.

The ptsd wasn't getting easier to deal with. Every day felt like a new obstacle, something to get through just for the hope tomorrow would be better.

But it never was, unless he was with Severus.

He didn't realize but he's grown to love his best friend. The drunken kiss, the feeling of envy whenever Lily got too close.

The feeling he got when he saw Vanity get too close and the relief he felt knowing Severus kissed him and not her. That kiss has played over and over in his head until he couldn't think of anything else.

Maybe it was for the best. He didn't have time to worry about his scars knowing Severus liked him just fine with them.

The way he delicately ran his hands across his skin, the total disregard for the things that made him feel so ugly.

So useless and terrifying to look at. Severus didn't care, he still looked at him the same after knowing what his skin has been reduced to.

He wishes he could have his blemish free body again but that's a luxury he'll never achieve. But Severus' growing feelings for him felt like a blanket over his aching body.

Severus wrapped him in happiness and unconditional support, leaving him blissed out.

He wanted more. He was greedy and arrogant, eventually the friendship just wasn't enough to satisfy him.

So he did little things to push Severus' buttons. He got too close, he left lingering touches and flirted with him just to see his reaction.

He felt bad for feeling this way. Severus tried so hard to be his safe space and he was but James wanted more than Severus was willing to provide.

He missed his old days where he could talk to girls for entertainment then drop them. Where he flirted with a few guys and saw the confusion and amusement before pretending they never existed.

He wished he could go back to that, and little by little he did.

" Good to see you're back James." A girl from their year called Amelia said and the way her fingers trailed down his back made him shiver.

He looked up from his book and smile at her, flashing his signature smirk and looking her up and down.

" Good to be back." He responded, eyeing her new school skirt that was far too short for the dress code.

Lily started to chuckle and when he looked back Severus was glaring at Amelia as she walked away.

He looked mad, jealous and envious all rolled into one. If James played along with her games a little longer he wonders what other reactions he could get from him.

" Severus!" Emma said and ran over, leaning against the table and smiling wide.

The instant boost Severus got in his mood confused James. Just by her presence he was already smiling more.

" Oh hey, there's the star Seeker. Well, former star seeker." Emma laughed and Lily followed suit.

" What?"

" Its fine, reggie is pretty hard to beat. Speaking of quidditch, Severus i need a sub for our practice match." She pat his shoulder and he nodded.

" Okay. Do you want me to find someone?"