Thomas' videos always stress me out, but I try to act cool and totally not stressed out at all in front of the other Sides, since I know they will think I'm weak if I show any form of emotion, especially Princey.
I want to believe that they are good people, but I still don't trust them enough to show them my emotions. I know that my anxiety can get really bad sometimes, so I try my best to slip away whenever I feel like I'm losing control, but sometimes I can't control it, and they see the real me. They see the version of me that I try so hard to hide from them. They see the version of me that made the Dark Sides call me "weak" and "vulnerable"
Today I couldn't keep my emotions bottled up anymore and just broke down. Especially since Princey wouldn't stop asking questions, and questions really stress me out. Well, come to think of it, Princey in general just really stresses me out.
Anyways, as I was saying, today I broke down (I use the term 'break down' instead of 'anxiety attack' since break down sounds a lot better than anxiety ATTACK, like excuse me I am too terrified to talk to someone let alone attack someone. Rude.) in front of all of the Light Sides. It wasn't anything serious, Princey was just asking me a lot of questions about the other Dark Sides and I couldn't take it anymore. Luckily, the three idiots (Patton, Roman, and Thomas, if that wasn't clear,) weren't left alone, since none of them knew what to do, and Logan was there. He's smarter than the others, and actually knows things, unlike the others. Anyways, he basically helped me control my breathing, and I'm pretty sure that means I have to be nice to him? I'm not really that great at being nice, especially to myself, so....I'm not that sure what I'm supposed to say to him.
After he helped me settle down, I immediately left to go to my room, so I didn't really have time to see the looks on their faces, which I'm actually glad I wasn't there to see. Pity is something I hate. I hate how people will look at me when they realize how bad my anxiety really is. But, I will not let them only see me as the person who broke down in front of them. I will make sure they don't figure out anything else about me.
