What Might Have Been | JiKyu

8|Longing

"Jihoon, you're not gonna believe me but Hyunsuk has a crush on you." Asahi said.

"What?" Jihoon asked looking at him in disbelief.

"It's true." Asahi said.

"Just what did you see or hear for you to even come to that conclusion?" Jihoon asked him.

"Isn't it obvious? He keeps coming to visit our class. He keeps looking at our direction and what else? He told me himself." Asahi said to him.

Jihoon snorted and chuckled.

"Yeah, that's because he has a crush on you, not me." Jihoon said.

"Fine. You don't believe me? Let's have Hyunsuk come here to us right now." Asahi said. He turned around and called for Hyunsuk whom was sitting at another bench just near them.

"Hey! Hyunsuk!" Asahi called.

"What are you doing?!" Jihoon whispered to him.

Hyunsuk heard Asahi and immediately came to them.

"Hi guys! What are doing here? Don't you have any classes?" Hyunsuk asked as he sat next to Jihoon.

Jihoon was slightly startled by having Hyunsuk sitting beside him, but he tried not to show it.

"It's our vacant time right now. We're just chilling here." Asahi replied.

"Hey, Jihoon." Hyunsuk turned to him with a smile.

"Oh, hi to you too, Hyunsuk." Jihoon replied.

The two got into a friendly conversation. Only Asahi noticed the meaningful look Hyunsuk had in his eyes as he looked at Jihoon.

Soon, Jihoon and Hyunsuk eventually became closer and closer together. Both were developing deeper feelings for each other. The constant teasing and encouragement from Asahi and Yoonbin were a factor that got Jihoon to crush on Hyunsuk. The two became a hot topic at their school. Hyunsuk was popular at their school, so it explains why gossip spreaded around.

One thing Jihoon least expected from liking Hyunsuk was for the latter's past lover to start terrorizing him. He went through people implicitly staining his name on the rising use of social media. He even heard the rumors of how he was the reason that Hyunsuk and his former lover broke up.

Jihoon was disturbed by this turn of events. What he hated the most was that Hyunsuk did not mention anything about it to him. He felt stupid to have jump into something without fully knowing and understanding the entirety of it all. But that's what you do when you are young, you quickly involve yourself into things that excite and make you happy. And face regret along the way as you feel pain and sadness.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jihoon asks.

"Tell you what?" Hyunsuk asked confused.

"That you have someone else in your life. That there was someone else before me. Why didn't you atleast tell me?" Jihoon looked angry and betrayed. He felt like a fool.

"Oh," Hyunsuk's eyes were washed with understanding. "Jihoon, it's just something in the past. We never got into a serious relationship. We just had a mutual understanding. It really was nothing serious." Hyunsuk honestly explained.

"Is that so? Then why is that person attacking me. That photo you uploaded of our hands holding together, I...I saw their comments and...I just...I just wished you could've told me. I would have atleast been careful about getting involved with you." Jihoon faces away from him.

"I didn't know they would do something like that. I'll delete those comments. You don't have to see them. They don't matter. Okay?" Hyunsuk comforts him.

Jihoon says nothing more and slowly nods. In his head, he guessed he could just chose to ignore it all.

While he tried to ignore them, he gathered information about Hyunsuk's past crush. What he learned from that person only made his self esteem simply plummet down to the earth's crust. It turns out the person was more physically attractive than him and more popular than him. Jihoon doesn't bother himself about such things but the more he fell in the more he got messed up.

There were nights that he cried. There were tears that he had to hold back. He became paranoid of unfamiliar people around him, scared that it could be one of those people that sided more with Hyunsuk's old crush that blamed Jihoon for being the reason they parted. Turns out that person actually still liked Hyunsuk.

However, Hyunsuk remained faithful and loving to Jihoon. It made the latter be able to forget the insecurities that seeped in through his head. There were moments of bliss and moments of torment. Fights broke out and they make up; an unending cycle.

Jihoon got his first kiss from Hyunsuk as they were climbing the tiring long stairs that lead to the school's badminton court. As they kissed he clearly heard the loud beating of Hyunsuk's heart when they kissed.

They were happy, yet Jihoon felt like he was longing for something else.

Although he is with Hyunsuk, he cannot help but reminisce the times of what he might have had with Junkyu.

When Jihoon moved up to 11th Grade, his parents made him transfer to a different school. He didn't want to be separated from Hyunsuk but he can't go against his parents wishes. They didn't even know he was in a relationship with someone. He let it be, though it was hard with Hyunsuk hopelessly begging to stay with him.

He transferred to his new school and met new friends. He found something crucial about one of his new classmate and friend. Jihoon found out that Seunghun, went to the same school Junkyu attended.

"Do you know Kim Junkyu?" Jihoon asked him.

"Yeah, he was my classmate back there." Seunghun answered.

Jihoon's mouth dropped as he felt excited to be friends with someone that knew Junkyu.

"Really? I was his classmate too. We went to the same school and we were both classmates back then." Jihoon expressed.

"Oh, you! You're Jihoon, right? So you're the one that Junkyu keeps mentioning." Seunghun said.

"What? Wait, Junkyu talks about me?" Jihoon asked, his eyes tried not to look too hopeful.

"Well, he talks about his old classmates in his old school. So, he of course talks about you too." Seunghun said.

Jihoon was a bit disappointed by this answer. He didn't dare dwell on the topic any longer as he didn't want Seunghun to feel that he was only interested in talking to him about Junkyu.

A gateway to his past reawakened the buried feelings Jihoon still had for Junkyu. As Seunghun learned more about the unfulfilled love story between Junkyu and Jihoon he was willing to see and help the love between them blossom together. But this led to the challenges Jihoon faced in his relationship with Hyunsuk.