Divergent High. Love. Hurt. And Lots of Four/Tris.

A great and terrible beauty

Tris POV

I have no clue what to do at this point, I'm starting to fall for Al, but I already fell for Four. He may have left me, but I still feel like I love him. I don't know what to do now, Al hasn't left me, but I'm just a plain old ugly girl, he won't be depressed if I tell him that want Four. Will he? No. He can't be torn up over some girl that isn't even pretty, let alone beautiful. If I choose Al though, Four did leave me with no explanation of why he left or where he went. Al hasn't left me. Ugh. I know they are talking to me but all I hear is the rush of blood in my ears. The teacher seems to be enjoying this little outbreak of drama though. It kind of seems like I'm in the middle of a soap opera. I'm in some sort of trance from over thinking this when Four grabs my shoulders and turns me to face him.

"Tris! Are you ok?" he asks me; he seems genuinely concerned about my well-being.

"I'm fine. Just a little confused." After this statement I'm yelling, "Why the hell did you leave me! If you care about me so much," now I'm whispering, "then why did you leave. You didn't even bother to say goodbye." I drift off into my mind again, I start to feel dizzy and darkness overwhelms me, taking me under.

*TIME LAPSE*

I wake up in an all too familiar place, all the time I spent here seems both sweet and sour now that I look back at it. I remember when this place seemed like a safe haven, someplace I could go and the world would just melt away. Fours room. My head is pounding, then it all comes rushing back to me; I'm in Fours room because he came back, and he wants me back, I had hoped it was all a dream but I knew better than that. Who do I choose?

Fours POV

I walk into my bedroom to see Tris struggling to try to sit herself up. I walk over and help her, then sit on the bed beside her, looking into her mesmerising blue-gray eyes. She is searching mine like she will find the answer to the question I know she's asking herself- in them. She wants to know if she should chose me or Al. I vote for me, but I don't think my vote counts. I truly love Tris and I don't want Al corrupting her. When I met her she had a few walls up, she didn't really openly share much of anything, I found out about her by breaking down those walls, which surprisingly didn't take too much effort; I think she just wanted someone to care about her, she doesn't realise how much I do.

She stops looking at me and looks down at her hands like hey will show her the answer.

"Tris, I didn't leave because of you, you need to know that." I say softly so I don't sound harsh.

"Then why did you leave? Four, you could have called, done something, anything, there's such thing as mail believe it or not." Mail. I had never even thought of mail, my mind was too crowded to think of any good ideas.

"I'm sorry Tris, I was having a hard time and I didn't know what to do." Now I was the one looking at my hands.

"What was so hard Four, you haven't told me any reason why you left. You've only said it not because of me and the more time you let pass without giving me a reason, the more I think it is me and you're just trying to think of some lame excuse." She says sounding harsh.

"I just..." I inhale deeply, "Answer this then, if I left because of you, why would I come back to you?" I ask, it's a truly valid question.

"I've had old boyfriends that left because they were tired of me and then came back because they either wanted my money, to get in my pants, or both. None of them have come back because they love me and it's hard to tell the difference at this point because my judgement of character has gotten worse. I have no idea if you actually love me Four." She whispered it and it broke my heart to hear, that someone could do such a thing to her was just unbelievable, but people took advantage of others these days so much it was like a second nature. I was like that, caught up with some bad people before I found my rightful spot.

"Tris, I left because my aunt was sick, very sick. She was dying and I went to stay with her, I know I could have tried better to get in touch with you, let you know it's not your fault that I left and that I would be back, but my head was crowded with my aunt. We were really close, I may have never talked about her but we were still like paper and glue. She was the one person I could always turn to. Don't blame yourself for my disappearance." I say, still looking at my hands. I didn't dare look her in the eyes because if I knew her they would be filled with sadness and that would make me cry, and I could not cry because if I started I may never stop. All these years since I was 12 I haven't cry and if I do now, all those years' worth of tears will just come pouring out and it just won't stop.

"I'm sorry and please, please, please don't take this the wrong way, I don't mean in harshly but it may sound that way. Four, but you were gone for four months. A funeral doesn't take that long." she said trying to sound as gentle as possible, which by the way, didn't really work.

"She was sick, very sick and I went to support her, she died after two months of getting continuously worse and after that funeral plans took half a months, then it had been 3 months, then the funeral, 3 and ½ months, then I took half a month for full out mourning." I said gritting my teeth in order not to cry. Tris looked stricken.

"I'm sorry, you know I didn't mean that way." With that she turned and took off. I think she took my sadness for anger, and with how sad I am she must think I'm extremely mad at her.

*TIME LAPSE*

The next day I see Tris walking down the halls of school.

"Tris," I say running up to her, "Tris, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound angry, I was... I was just really sad and upset. Please forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive." She says blankly. I know when I've encountered this, it a wall. She put it up so no one can hurt her, so I can't hurt her, she wants to protect herself from getting hurt so she blocks a part of her mind off, her emotions. "Unless, of course it's you forgiving me, for you did nothing wrong, I accused you, you had every reason to get mad at me." She says still with no expression and staring off into space.

"Tris, I wasn't mad, I love you, I couldn't be mad if I tried." I said. She then turned around and ran away. I know why, her wall was coming down and she needed to put it back up. I chased her but she ran to the girl's bathroom so there was nothing I could do but wait. She had to come out sometime right? Little did I know she climbed out the window...

Tris POV

I love Four, I do, but when he got mad last night, even though he keeps denying the fact that he did, it hurt me a lot, so I'm putting up my walls. I just don't know what else to do.

*TIME LAPSE*

I see Christina and jog over to her.

"Hey." I say as I come up beside her.

"Hey, what's up?" She says slurring 'what's up' so it sounds more like 'wassup' than 'what's up'.

"Who's do I choose? Four, or Al? I like them both but I need an outside suggestion. I think I like one more than the other but everything is just so confusing."

"Four. That's a no brainer." 1-0 Four. After asking Zeke, Uriah, Marlene, Shauna, and Lynn, the score is 6-0 Four. Everyone thinks I should go for Four, but what do I think.

Four.

I think Four.

Al will get over me in a day, but Four came back to me, whether he likes it or not.

*TIME LAPSE*

I tell Al that we should break up. He took it extremely well, other than when he left he kept saying he couldn't live without me. The rest of the day went by in a blur. Now I'm at the river because someone jumped in and drowned. They pull up the body. Al. I guess he really couldn't live without me. It's a great and terrible beauty to be loved.