Life's Paths

What she found

One day, she wrote a poem. One that illustrated all she was feeling. It did not make her feel better. It only reminded her of all the conclusions she had gotten to at this point. But, she began to think there was no way that life could be so meaningless. That life was so feeble and depressing. Even good things were only temporary. This life was temporary. There had to be something more.

She did know of something more.

Had she been looking for answers for these questions in all the wrong places? Was the answer to life, was the thing that would give her fulfillment, could the thing that could teach her how to love be found on earth?

There was something she remembered she'd always had. It had helped her through a few things. She had dedicated her life towards this even. She looked into it. Recalling her path and seeing that all these things that she had gone through, they were leading to, they always had in it, someone.

If the world did not have the answers to itself, wouldn't its creator?

If the human limitations were restricting her, then wouldn't a God be able to stand above all that?

From the beginning of her life her parents had dedicated her to a God. Every Sunday she was taken to church to hear about this God. At the age of 12 she agreed to it all and dedicated her life to this God. And what she found as she recalled it all, was that this God has always been with her.

She had been walking this earthly path. But simultaneously as she walked it, she was also walking a spiritual path. And for her, those two paths only clashed when it came to behaviorism and morality. What she had was religious practices. What she wanted now was a relationship with this God.

There was someone the Holy book said that was knocking on her door waiting to be let in. She recalled letting Him in before. She recalled seeing him through her spiritual journey a few times. What she remembered is she'd often open the door and then close it before anything could happen. She recalled greeting Him on Sundays. She recalled walking up to Him and asking Him for answers, but never staying for them and then wondering why He didn't respond. She remembered blaming him for things as she felt like it. She remembered thanking Him for a few things. She recalled making promises to Him and forgetting what she even had said. She recalled many nights and days crying to Him about adversaries, about guilt and shame she had because of things she had done. Those days He'd reminded her that he had actually made rules against those things she had done.

Huh.

Just who was this man? She'd heard lots about Him and she confided in Him when people and the world failed her. She still did. But now she wanted to know about Him.

This Father, the Creator who wanted her as his child. The One who was Love.

This Son, who was human. The One who died, forgave her sins which crippled her, the One that promised everlasting life. The One who could relate to her, and set an example.

This Holy Spirit, who was the one who had been convicting her all this time since she gave her life years ago. The One who taught her, reminding her of scriptures, and pulled her away and into God's will.

These, who were One.

With her past spiritual journey in mind. The girl decided that if the world wasn't going to treat her well, and wasn't going to give her eternal fulfillment then she'd search for it beyond the world.

She decided that if she needed love, then she was going to the one who was Love. The one who could teach her how to love herself and others unconditionally.

She decided that if she wanted purpose in life, then she'd find it in the story, in the journey with a clear ending. The one that already succeeded all trials. That way, what would she have to worry about? Everything she did towards this kingdom building was definitively positively impactful and ended in victory.