Life's Paths

Reflection

A catastrophe happened. They called it a 'pandemic.' A few weeks into that announcement she was now house ridden. What this meant for her path journey, was that not only could she no longer see clear paths ahead, she quite literally couldn't see much of any other options aside from the one she was on. She could only see what was immediately ahead of her. That meant that some of the bigger turns she could've made down certain paths, could not be seen. Maybe she saw a left or a right, but often it was just to keep straight. Some people came and encouraged her by shedding light on the fog and revealing a few options. But those options were either barred by her parents out of worry, or she couldn't see the path properly to get there, only that they were off in the distance. It wasn't a risk she really thought could be taken.

Once or twice the pandemic eased up and she recalled how much she loved being able to see. Over time she realized how weak she had become. Her body, her mind, her heart. She felt empty. Every time she fell back into the darkness and fog of the 'pandemic' she grew less and less hopeful. She began to ignore her worries. Insisting that as long as she kept moving, eventually she'd get where she wanted to be. Even though she lost control of where she could go and couldn't even see where she was going. Without even love within her, she became a robot and through the eyes of this robot, the world - whatever she could see - was black and white.

She felt. Actually at this point, she realized she had been feeling like a plastic bag in the wind, all this time. She didn't feel like she belonged. She wasn't really doing much good for the people and the things around her and the world was merciless as it tossed her wherever it wished using whatever it could. Whether it was her parents, adulthood or this pandemic, it used it all. It even tried to take people away from her.

She could not live like this. Loveless and being treated like garbage. She was empty. And she began to realize she was alive. She had what she needed even though she did not have her goal. All of a sudden those paths that she never considered, even the ones far down south started to not look so bad. At least she'd see where she was going better. Yes, a simple farm on a piece of land, she didn't need wifi, maybe just the phone to speak to family. A few books and some cheesecake. Indeed, what was the point of anything if it could be so easily stripped away? She saw it around her, people who had everything losing it in an instant. She saw people who planned and worked hard and had every qualification to get somewhere be denied, not even given a single path to try. She saw how a single disease, she saw how one natural phenomenon, could throw you and everything you built, everything you had away. So what was the point of dreaming big? There was no point in her activities, she didn't even love them anymore.

Yes, if she was to be a paper bag. Then, a paper bag she'd be.