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Living in this place is almost like living in Orson Welles 1984. I'm being monitored all the time by the Thought Police. Here's how it works for me. If I have any clear actions of retaliation or escape, I suddenly blackout and wake up the next day. If I have any lingering thoughts about retaliation or escape, I lose consciousness and lose the rest of that day. Stare longingly at a knife for an end to it all? Blackout, and Monday becomes Tuesday. Yippee! After a while, you just get tired of losing days. But aren't I losing them, anyway?

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