Tortured by Hope and Dreams

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I woke up the day after my last day of torture thinking that I would open my eyes to the view I was supposed to see if I wasn't whisked away to some God-forsaken place to be tortured for over three years. I thought I would wake up and it would seem not like a dream, but as if I traveled back in time. With all of my scars and trauma, but allowed to continue on with an unchanged world. To wish that this period of my life was all a dream seems absurd. Well, the hope or the dream for it to not be real seems understandable, but the prospect of that being true is deniable. The torture grated against my body and soul for over three long years. Well, hoping that I would wake up with the same world that I knew is also unrealistic.

Aside from dreams, the next likely scenario was that they were going to drag me by the delicate hairs on my head out of this place and into a foreign one. Left to figure out for myself what the world is now. That didn't happen either.

I woke up the day after my last day of torture with the view I was used to waking up with for the last few years. I was still in the same place. It's been a few days now and yeah, I'm still here. Nobody has tried to visit me or tell me anything. It's like this blankness. I don't think I'm still being tortured, but at this point, I don't know if I could tell. I've been waiting. I get up and wait and then go to bed to wake up and wait again. I'm so confused. I thought things were going to be different. I don't know. It feels empty out there, in this space. It's not like I'm emptier. I feel like I am still who I am after all of this. That person and the weight they carry from all of their experiences is still the same, but out there seems emptier. It's as if the walls aren't some heavy steel prison. It's as if they're just simply walls, just drywall and plaster. I feel as if I was this tightly screwed bottle before and now the cap has been removed. The top is just open. It's just open. It's been open.

What if I've been free for who knows how long? What if the door to freedom was open? What if...the door is open