These High Walls

Chapter 13

Louis' P.O.V.

I am completely confounded, to say the least. I can feel the anger, that has been building up inside of me for a week, coming to the surface. I knew all that anger would come up soon, but I didn't think it would be in front of someone. Normally I can hold my temper in for just long enough to go somewhere I'm alone so that nobody can see me burst. But I guess this is all too much for my body to handle.

"What the hell is wrong with you! You think I can't handle myself, you complete asshole! I can make my own decisions, thank you very much! Have you even thought one second about my opinion on this situation! I regret running away, okay? But since then, you have been going on with your lives like I didn't even exist in the first place! But I could understand that you were busy doing whatever the hell you were doing! I knew you didn't need me nor want me. I was probably the worst hostage ever! But then you followed me and didn't even think to give me an explanation. You didn't even properly say hello, I needed you, back then! I had just lost a patient and I really needed your support and your company!" I yelled everything that was on my mind.

When I see the hurt on his face from my speech, I crouch down to the ground and sit with my arms around my legs. Soon my body starts shaking from all the tears. It's always like that after I burst, though usually, I would feel embarrassed and vulnerable crying in front of someone, however right now my mind is just blank. There is nothing there to hold, nothing to reassure me that it's going to be okay, nothing even to tell me that I fucked up.

It's totally empty.

Without knowing what I am doing I stand up and run to the bathroom. I quickly close the door behind me and turn the lock with shaking hands. I can hear Niall's voice faintly, but my mind doesn't register what he says. My legs weaken and I fall to the ground. I can't even feel the impact of my body hitting the ground. My body moves into a ball like earlier but with my side on the cold bathroom floor. Without my consent, my hands move to my hair and start to pull.

Then I suddenly notice the bird singing right outside the window. My hands let go of my hair and I look outside the window. There it is, flying in front of my bathroom window, as soon as I look into its eyes, I know it is him, trying to comfort me with his angel's voice. Instead of banging on the door, which I despise, he is singing a beautiful melody.

When I see his wings start to falter, I quickly step to the window and open it. He doesn't even wait until he stands on the floor to transform, and I put a step back to give him more room in the small place.

"Thank god, I thought you would never open the goddamn window," Niall says, half laughing, half coughing, "I don't' understand how birds do that all day. As if flying alone isn't already exhausting enough, they sing at the same time without missing a chord. Respect to them."

I don't know how he does it but there is always that tone in which he talks that makes everything so much funnier. When both our breathing patterns are back to normal a silence falls over both of us.

"Don't think I am not mad anymore", I say while I push past him to the kitchen. As I walk to the kitchen, I remember that he has a more acceptable reason to complain, since I broke our promise. I know that it was a bad move to make. I didn't know I would miss them as hard as I did. They kidnapped me for gods' sake! I don't completely regret my decision because I got to see my children again. Turns out they missed me as much as I missed them. When parked in my usual spot in front of the hospital one of them recognized my car and started yelling and running around the whole kid's section. They greeted me at the entrance with a big group hug and a laughing nurse in the background who brought them all down safely. While we went back up, they told me stories about what happened in the past month.