These High Walls

Chapter 19

After the kiss, I asked Harry if he wanted to cuddle with me for the night, but he quickly said that he wasn't quite ready for that. He said that he didn't want to rush through things. I just nodded and we talked about everything and nothing for some time, before he went to his own room.

I woke up with the sun shining in my eyes and birds singing their beautiful song, which indicated the beginning of spring. It's the beginning of April and I'm enjoying the first morning of my vacation. I have planned to sleep in the woods again, wanting to help with the renovation. The boys have finally started renovating the whole mansion thoroughly since they have gained a lot of money with their bakery. It's a real success and I'm so glad they started to put more effort into it. I always enjoy eating delicious bread and pies, specifically on a Sunday morning, such as today.

I stop daydreaming and sit up in my bed. I put on some comfortable clothes and leave my apartment. I walk to the bakery, which is only a couple of streets away. Soon I arrive in front of the door. I open the door and look over all the workers to see if one of the boys is working. I see Harry behind the counter, serving a girl, who looks like she's going to school. When the girl's order is done, he sees me and smiles.

"Hey, Louis. What do you want to order?" Harry greets.

"Hey, I want a croissant and a coffee with milk please?"

I pick a table close by the counter and while I am eating and drinking my order, I ask Harry, "When does your shift end?"

"In half an hour, why?"

"I wanted to come by the for a week since I have a vacation. I can go with you when you're done working."

"Yeah, good idea. Liam has been planning to do something."

"What has he been planning?"

"Something you won't like, so I'm not telling you."

"Will you like it?"

"No, none of us wants to do it."

"Then, why do it?"

"Because it's important. Can we stop talking about this?"

"Okay. I guess I will find out soon enough."

I quietly wait for Harry to finish his shift. Harry decides he wants to walk home, wanting to discuss something with me. When we enter the forest, he begins to talk.

"Well, Louis, I feel like I have to be honest with you. I'm a bit confused about my feelings toward you and about my sexuality. I don't think I'm gay, I have liked girls in the past. I don't think that feeling was fake. So, I think I'm bisexual or maybe pansexual, I don't know yet. I am also a bit conflicted because I like you, but I don't want to hurt you. I don't know if there is a future possible for us together. I will always be a danger to you and your friends. I don't want to be the one to hold you back, and I don't want you to feel like you should abandon your dreams for me."

I look sideways at Harry and I see that he's crying, I quickly stop walking and hug him. When we pull back I say: "You don't have to feel pressured to suddenly know your sexuality, you can think about it for as long as you want. I know that you're possibly going to hurt me, but maybe I will hurt you too. I think that's part of relationships. People hurt each other, but as long as it's not abuse and you talk about it afterwards, it's fine. And I will absolutely not abandon my dreams for you, I'm capable of achieving them together with you. And you can achieve your dreams too. You're not going to hold me back, on the contrary, since I've met you I've been working harder to achieve my dreams. You're my inspiration, that keeps me going when I'm down. Even though we're not together that often you're always with me in my imagination."