Save Your Soul

Chapter twelve

- CHAPTER TWELVE -

"Could we hang out today?" Harry questioned with anticipation.

My mind rattled as I skimmed over my lies.

"Um, well, I've... Dannon... She's coming over," I mumbled.

"Oh," he breathed. I could hear his heartbreak even over the telephone.

I knew he realized I was lying.

"She's coming over again?" He muttered.

I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath.

"No," I admitted.

"Well then why did you tell me she was?" He questioned, trying to figure out the puzzle.

I shook my head although he couldn't see. I didn't know how I could be so in love with someone yet not want to be with them.

This all happened too fast.

My old memories come back as vivid as yesterday's, as we both sit in silence.

"I'll never leave you," I recalled him saying from years before.

Little did he know soon my response would be," yes, but I will you."

I groaned loudly upon the phone out of my overwhelming frustration.

"What's wrong?" He questioned with concern.

"Everything," I breathed quietly.

"Everything?" He repeated with defense.

I could feel my eyes grow cloudy, as I clinched my fists in an attempt to fight tears.

"I have to go... And think," I mumbled with guilt.

The phone line stood silent.

"I love you," he whispered with pain.

I choked back my tears that begged to fall, as I replied," I know."

- - - - - - - - - -

Outside my window ran many couples beneath umbrellas, laughter filling their times together.

The skies stormed yet again, and I longed for the sunshine.

Seeing the people claim love in the streets between one another made me rethink everything... Over and over again.

It seemed as if each time I glared to the phone beside me it moved an inch closer.

I felt my conscience maneuver my actions into resulting upon my picking up the telephone and calling Harry, just to see if he was doing okay.

I closed my eyes from the pedestrians outside my window, and imagined Harry's current well being.

I could see his reddened eyes shed of tears as he stared at his phone, waiting for my call.

I really hoped he didn't think of this as his fault again, although I already knew he did.

I had so many choices yet none of them were correct. I finally could understand what all the lovers speak of, I couldn't live with him yet I couldn't live without him.

Our pace will only go as far as our feet allow, and I realized what a hindrance I was being towards Harry. Knowing he could love so much deeper, but I was only supplying so little in our relationship.

I glanced towards my clock as I still sat straight before my window.

It was four am. I had been sat thinking for nearly eight hours by then.

Glancing over to Harry's tshirts next was not wise on my part, because I realized I needed to make sure he was alright.

I grabbed up my phone and dialed his number nervously, longing for an answer.

Unfortunately his machine answered.

"Hey Harry... It's me, Riley... I just wanted to say that.. I'm, sorry... And that I love you. Goodnight," I left as a message, only hoping he would hear.

* AUTHORS NOTE *

Please, please, please comment and vote. So sorry my chapters are short... For some reason I prefer them to be... Would you like them to be longer? Comment! Anything for my readers... If I have any? ;D