Save Your Soul

Part fifteen

- CHAPTER FIFTEEN -

Going through school for the rest of the day was difficult.

Harry never came back.

I had never been so confused in my life.

At moments I wanted him to be far away, but most of the time I wanted him to be with me.

I wanted him whether we spoke or not. I just really liked having him beside me.

I couldn't help but smile throughout my day thinking of how Harry got jealous over me and Oliver.

Oliver has been going to school with the two of us for a while, and I had never even noticed him before the time he helped me pick of my clumsy mistake.

He talked to me during lunch.

Basically he let me know that I didn't have to worry about him and Harry.

To be honest, the thought hadn't even crossed my mind.

- - - - - - - - - -

I found myself walking home after school.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but I sometimes wished for tears.

I loved to have some dramatic event happening... But only because it reminded me of Harry.

Sadness, passion, and all that's in between reminded me of Harry.

As I tiptoed up the steps to me and my parents apartment I secretly wished to see Harry inside.

He wasn't there.

My mom greeted me at the door with a smile.

"How was school?" She questioned.

"School," I responded with no emotion.

"Come on! It's senior year!" She insisted.

"That's my point," I sighed while walking up the steps to my room.

On top of my bed sat a few stuffed animals.

The majority of them were given to me by Harry.

I covered my face with my hands as I began to think.

What to do?

I knew it was time to admit that I was still in love with Harry.

I was still completely confused over his new "image" and attitude as well.

He was a different person, and I didn't think I liked it.

I only remember him as a gentle, caring, loving boy.

That's not who he was anymore, or at least that's what he wanted people to believe.

I sat upon my bed and leaned my head against the wall.

I thought for a few minutes.

I didn't know what else to do.

I realized that I could have thought until I couldn't think any longer.

There were so many options, chances, and possibilities.

They all spun around my head as if they were mixed into a whirlpool and I wasn't sure as to which one to grasp.

All I could remember was Harry's new found quick temper.

His strong hands grasping Oliver's wrist.

He didnt even think about it.

What if he would have hurt him?

Would he have even cared?

Does he even care?

- - - - - - - - -

"Please don't leave," I begged.

"I don't want to," he admitted with a sigh.

"Then don't," I pleaded as I grabbed his hands.

"But you're leaving me?" He questioned.

He lifted his head until our eyes met.

We were in the same dark room as always.

"I don't want to either," I replied.

He placed a kiss to the corner of my lips. We didn't speak, but only because there were no words to say.

He was clothed in all black yet again, and I felt as if there was something completely different to him.

I was now afraid of him.

However, I had never felt so safe around anyone.

My eyes suddenly opened to the sound of my mom calling my name from downstairs.

I rubbed my face roughly as I groaned to myself.

I had not dreamed of Harry for a very long time, and I realized that I was no longer heartbroken...

I was now determined and in love all over again.

We were a never ending cycle.

Sometimes we need a bit of confusion to have full understanding of what and who we love.

I prayed overdosing on confusion was impossible, because if it was a chance I would have been a goner.

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