All Those Years Ago - Lennison Fan Fiction - Beatles Slash Fan Fiction

Chapter eighteen : 1969, part two : In Retrospect

John sat down, taking his place in the wide circle of Krishna devotees having lunch on the plush carpet of the "Temple", as everyone had taken to calling this building at the northern end of Tittenhurst Park since the Swami had arrived. They were meant to meet his 'Grace', Swami Bhaktivedanta, for the first time that afternoon, to receive a lecture about his movement, simply entitled Hare Krishna.

Yoko was sitting close to him, talking animatedly with a bald man in a bright, orange tunic. "Hare Krishna." A devotee stood next to John, handing him his bowl of brown rice and stewed vegetables. "Hare Krishna," John replied distractedly, grabbing his fork and eating slowly, feeling somewhat out of place although he had been the one to organise this all, to invite the Swami and his disciples to Tittenhurst.

It had seemed like a good idea, at the time. John was interested in the Hare Krishna movement. He and Yoko had discussed it, and agreed that his previous encounter with the Maharishi had been regrettable but not to be taken as representative of the whole philosophy. John was still looking for an "answer" after all, something to give significance to his life.

Yoko, with conceptual art and a budding political commitment, had begun to introduce a little meaning into his daily routine, and he no longer felt like a fat king worshipped by thousands of mindless groupies. That was good, but he still missed something. The Krishna philosophy, albeit ruined the first time by the Maharishi's behaviour, had always appealed to him, and he'd thought that it couldn't hurt to give it another go.

His eyes wandered upon the crowd, suddenly pausing on the couple in front of him, only a few steps away. Pattie, with her fair hair wrapped up in a cute bonnet, and George, sitting cross-legged and smiling to her through his beard, hair growing long. George had been the other reason why John had decided to have to Krishnas at Tittenhurst, the reason he'd not given to Yoko, although he suspected she'd had an inkling when he'd brought up inviting him. He would never have admitted to it, though. This was meant to be a spiritual quest, not an opportunity to mend bridges with an old lover. It was what it had turned out to be, though.

John knew this interest for the Krishna movement was something he and George had always had in common, something that had easily brought them together in the past. He remembered 1965, tentatively learning how to meditate, Greece and their endless days of chanting together, and India, where they'd held hands and meditated in the Ashram at night, when everybody else was sleeping.

Thus, inviting George over for a week of Krishna readings had been convenient, the perfect excuse so to speak, but it had also been John's way to reach out for George and to show he was sorry. John could never apologise straightforwardly. He had to employ ruses, demonstrate an obtuse generosity, to convey how guilty he was. He'd felt terrible after his argument with George. The man had came back to the studio soon enough, preventing them from hiring Clapton instead, but John had known just how deep he'd hurt him.

Unlike John, George was never gratuitously vicious, and for him to have gotten so mean and cutting, for him to have thumped John, he knew his friend had had to be devastated. Things had been awkward at first, in the studio, gradually evolving into a cold but not directly hostile game of ignoring each other. John's invitation to Tittenhurst had tipped this precarious balance again, and they were slowly but surely slipping back to something akin to friendship, now.

John stretched his legs, feeling somewhat restless after all this sitting around. He leaned towards Yoko to attract her attention. "How 'bout a stroll, before it begins?" He pursed his lips as she declined, getting up nonetheless. "I'll go on me own, then." He wiped an imaginary tear, chuckling as she smiled up to him. He padded towards the door, pausing as his eyes caught George's from across the room, giving him a little grin. He hesitated for a second and then nodded towards the garden, raising his eyebrows in silent invitation.