Miraric

05| Dying in Memories.

The sound of his cries reached the meadow, it reached the fireflies that were illuminating the meadow, and even they stopped glowing, leaving only the stars as a source of getting luminescence.

By now, Edric was sitting upright, his face covered with his trembling hands, not knowing what to do or say. He tried his best to stop the tears from flowing down but he couldn't - the memories of his father in pain kept on flashing upon his eyes, attacking him like a demon, never once leaving him for a moment.

He remembered the day his father transferred his renèi Possession to him and immediately fallen to the ground right after Edric received it, he remembered how his father smiled while in pain, how his brothers sent him glares after glares every day, he remembered their taunts, their words.

"It would have been so much better if you never existed," Eric had once said, snarling.

"Father would have been fine and the kingdom would not have fallen like that!" he had raised his hand on him and Edric let him.

He remembered how his mother was constantly ignoring him, like he never existed after he received renèi Possession.

"Mother, I heard the baby will be born so-" She hadn't let him finish before immediately walking away from him. He looked down at the little clothe he had knitted for his unborn sibling, wondering if his new sibling would accept him.

He wept.

Weeping, he remembered how he was never allowed to attend any social events for being who he was, how his father always told him it was best for him to not show himself to the public, to always act like he wasn't a Naught. He remembered how he had always just nodded his head and smiled apologetically, like it was his fault and had walked away.

He remembered how in his childhood, he would always wish for any kind of renèi Possessor to the shooting star, to the gods ruling in empty skies, knowing it was impossible but he would still ask for it - even if it was raining, he would ask for it again and again and he would scream in the rain, cry and and yell at the sky.

He wept.

"Ever since I was a child, I always wanted to be a renèi Possessor, to be accepted - by my brothers, by everyone," he said, fresh tears rolling down his puffed cheeks. "But now that I have one . . ." he bored his eyes into Miranda whose heart wretched seeing him so helpless, clueless and broken.

"Why am I not happy, Mira?"

"Yes, I wanted to be a renèi Possessor - but not like this . . " he ran his hands through his dark hair, grasping them tightly, trembling. "Not by risking my father's life, not by making my brothers hate me more than they already do, not by making my mother look at me with disappointment," he sniffed, no longer caring about how he was releasing his tears, how he was crying his heart out.

Miranda stared at him, her heart softening because of how fragile he looked as he sat there, his hands no longer in hers, alone - like a lost boy waiting to be wanted for who he is.

She raised her hand, realising that the hands she was going to use to comfort him was also going to be the very hands she will use to take his life.

"Edric," she whispered softly, coming closer to him as he remained the same. "You never wanted to be a renèi Possessor," she took his trembling hands in hers, holding them firmly, trying to calm his shivering state. "It was the world, Ric . It was the world that wanted you to change into someone that you're not."

"They made you believe you are not enough," she said, caressing his hand gently. "It was them. It was always them."

He couldn't feel her touch or listen to her words. All he could feel was the burden of his guilt, the burden of the guilt that his new wings held tightly, like it was never going to let go and will be forever tangled with him.

He heard his father's weak tone, how he had raised his voice today, so weakly, so desperately, barely able to call out his name.

He heard his brothers' taunts, one after another, their reprimands, their curse for being born, he heard their advices - the advices that he once thought of taking.

"Maybe you should just hang yourself somewhere - it will lessen your burden of being a Naught and will lessen our shame for having a Naught as a brother,"

"And if you are too scared to hang yourself, just tell me, and I will get a Mind Manipulator to manipulate your mind to make you kill yourself. That sounds more easy, does it not, Edric?"

"Mother cries every night for having you. It is like father is the only one who will accept you,"

"Oh, Edric. What will become of you?"

He felt his world crumbling, breaking apart along with him. He held his hair tightly, all the memories consuming him one by one as he no longer felt how Miranda was holding him tight, whispering reassuring words and comfort - he felt nothing and everything at the same time.

"What do I do? What do I do?" he mumbled these few words continuously, frantically, still hoping the gods above him would be kind enough to give him some clue or anything that will make him not feel everything he was feeling right now.

"Help me," he whispered to no one, particularly, for he knew there was no one to help him. "Help me, please-" his own words died down his throat when he realised he was trembling uncontrollably and the world around him wasn't crumbling anymore.

He was alive. He wasn't dying. He wasn't dying in his memories. He was alive.

He moved away the fingers that were covering his eyes, finally seeing the world, finally seeing Miranda, finally seeing everything.

He had never felt so relieved in his life.

"Ric," he heard her, he heard her gentle call and he wanted to hear it again, he wanted to hear it until he stopped hearing the voice in his head.

"Ric," he heard her again. "Edric, my star."

Edric, my star.

"Look, look at me," Miranda said softly, taking his trembling hands in hers as she looked at his teary eyes but he wasn't doing the same. He only looked at their intertwined hands as he remembered the day Miranda had first called him that: her star.

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