Miraric

06| Death and Moon.

***

"Your middle name is Moon? Like, the moon that we are watching right now?" Edric chuckled amusingly as he watched her, and not the full moon that he had just talked about. She enchanted him more than the beauty of the moon.

"It is a little funny, I know," Miranda said, her eyes fixed on the bright circle above as Edric observed the reflection of the moon in her eyes.

"I love the moon," Edric said abruptly, catching Miranda off guard as she faced him, only to realise he was already looking at her.

"You love everything about the sky, Ric," she said quietly as Edric laughed and Miranda's heart warmed hearing his voice. She loved it —how he laughed -- so innocently, so gently and so genuinely that she would always want to save it because it was rare, Edric laughing and being happy.

"Why do you love it? The moon, the sky and the stars?" Miranda asked, genuinely curious.

"It gives me hope," was his quick answer as he watched the sky full of stars and the moon, the very moon which always looked lonely but it was still there, like a guide, like a mother, like a friend. "But lately, I have found someone who gives me so much hope that I feel like I can achieve the world and I am not so worthless like I think I am,"

Miranda was about to say something but Edric interrupted her. "You are my moon, Mira."

Miranda only stared at him, her heart wrenching and clenching tight as she swallowed. "I am not that much of a sky fan like you but I do like the stars,"

"What do the stars remind you of, Mira?"

"You."

"Why?"

"They burn. Like you," she always hated to be lost but this time, when she was lost in his eyes full of sorrow, she wasn't disliking it, for to her, being lost meant out of ways and with him, she could only find many ways and paths. "But they still shine -- like there is nothing wrong with them. They make me strong," she said as she held his hand tight.

"You are my star, Ric."

***

"Edric, I am with you," Miranda said as he finally looked up to her worried face, her furrowed eyebrows, her soft gray eyes, the closeness between them bringing warmth and making him feel like he was home, at last and no longer caged in his head, imprisoned by the never ending demons.

"I do not know what to do," he voiced out his thoughts. "The kingdom is falling, the people are only going against us, Ezérian are taking over lands and we are able to do nothing,"

Miranda thought of her father who was very much ready to take over the kingdom if it wasn't for their armies still readying themselves for the attack.

"I will not say things will work out or it will be all alright," she sighed. "His Majesty is also sick and your blasted of a brother is not really making any difference with his impeccable ruling," she rolled her eyes.

"He is trying," Edric said, defending his brother. "He might not be the nicest when he is interacting with me but he is trying. I saw him crying at father's bed and saying how horrible he was feeling,"

"Oh, stop defending him!" Miranda protested, throwing her hands.

"They are my brothers, Mira." was Edric's quick answer.

"You are their brother, too!"

"I can not hate them. They are my family," Edric stayed firm with his statement.

"Family does not make you want to die," family. The word was so foreign in her tongue. It meant so much — the word family. But to her, to Miranda, it meant nothing. The only family, her mother was all locked up somewhere she didn't know about and the only way to have her, as proposed by her father, was to betray Edric, take information from him and then give them to her father and only then, he would release her mother.

But sometimes, even she wondered if it was all worth it.

Sometimes, when she couldn't get sleep, she'd wonder how Edric would react when he finds out that she was going to be the person who was going to take his life, she would wonder how Edric was going to be when he finds out that she was going to deceive him, that she was going to tell her father when was going to be the right to breech the walls of the palace.

She would wonder how she was going to deal with Edric's hatred after finding out the truth, after finding out that she was exactly how the tales described the likes of her — merciless, savage and unkind.

She wondered if Edric was going to change his beliefs.

Miranda cleared her throat, realising what she said was barely even a whisper, so she said it again. "Family does not make you want to die, Edric."

Edric said nothing.

He only remembered the times when he actually thought of taking his cursed life. He thought of the times when he considered to throw himself in a river, he remembered how he wanted to hang himself on a tree when his brothers told him to do so.

He remembered how he wanted to slit his throat every time him and his brothers were having dinner and they would mock him, call him names, tell him to not even bother eating. He remembered how he wanted to slit his throat using the very utensils that they were cutting their food with.

He remembered how he'd starved himself to death to punish himself for being a Naught.

He remembered how he'd ventured in the nights, the moon as his guide and death as his wish while hoping a creature would race towards him, attack him and take his life.

He remembered so much he didn't even realise when he was being shaken by Miranda.

"Ric," she said, holding his wrist gently. "Did you ever try to take your life?"

It was sudden, so, he only looked at her, her crystal eyes curious, illuminating, enchanting. He exhaled, not breaking the eye contact. "No," he said, and only then did he look away. "Never."