ʀᴀᴄɪɴɢ ʙʟᴜᴇ 💙 ᴄʜᴀɴɢʟɪX

2

Chapter Song Suggestion: Twin Flame - Machine Gun Kelly

Felix stared at the worn steering wheel of Changbin's car. He dragged his palm across the top as if he were controlling it to turn to the left. If he had turned left that day, Changbin wouldn't be asleep. Maybe Felix would have taken his place. Felix didn't care. He would trade his spot for Changbin any day. He missed his smile. He missed his laugh. He missed the stupid fights they used to have.
Felix slammed his hands against the wheel. He didn't have anything to attack but himself. If he did that and Changbin did wake up, he'd be disappointed. So he took it out on the car. The only place he could go to hide away from all the eyes. Jisung worried so much that Felix felt bad. He felt guilty for feeling broken whenever he saw Jisung. Minho always told him he was allowed to feel the way he did. It still didn't feel right to cry in front of Jisung.
Most would have thought they would have bonded over the tough time. Felix was the one pushing everyone away. All he did was race and cry. Sometimes he did both at the same time. A broken heart was a very dangerous thing. But what did you expect from a man who saw his lover in everything—Changbin was his everything.
Felix hit the wheel with all the pent up anger he could. It was fine. Minho would fix anything that broke. Or maybe Felix would save it for Changbin to fix when he woke up. He let out a distraught laugh. He was far past the days of pretending Changbin had a chance of waking up. The doctors had told him that he had a low chance the day after the wreck. If only he had turned left. Why did Changbin race with him that day? He should've taken a different car.
Felix's chest burned with a flame that never died. His throat swelled and scratched. He wanted to scream but couldn't. He wouldn't let anyone know just how much he was hurting. He'd never let anyone but Changbin know.
Felix rested his head against the wheel, grip tightening as memories roamed his mind. The first time he'd seen Changbin was the most frequent one.
"How's it goin fellas!" Felix had said to them. He remembered Changbin and Jisung's eyes widening at his deep tone of voice. That and because he spoke English. Changbin had sighed briefly, catching the drifters attention. Felix's first impression was that Changbin was annoyed with the world. He dressed in black and wore dark eyeshadow at the rims of his eyes. He also had a silver chain.
Felix's hand found the necklace around his neck.
Chris had been the one to pull Felix away from the mechanic. "Australia?" he had asked, his accent coming out to play.
Felix simply laughed before introducing himself. "Not that hard a guess is it? Name's Felix." Chris chuckled and shared his own greeting. Felix remembered that he had driven up in his yellow and black race car. It was long gone by now. He hated the sight of it.
"What's your two names?" Felix had said when he got out of his car. He switched to Korean, twirling his keys around his index finger as he walked over to Seungmin.
"Jisung," the pro racer to-be bowed his head to him.
Changbin on the other hand was rubbing his neck, looking away from the group. "Changbin."
That was the moment Felix was drawn to him. He had such an interesting voice. At first glance he held lazy posture and didn't meet the drifters eyes, but when he spoke, Felix knew he was cool. He was hip.
It was funny how easy it had been to grab Changbin's attention from the very start. His exterior was nothing like his interior. He was soft and kind. He was gentle a mama's boy—most of the time. "Wish I'd brought my car." Changbin had pouted as he looked over to Felix who was taking off his black leather gloves.
"What's your car?" the freckled boy asked.
"A black Ford escort," Changbin replied.
"Oh cool! Those are such great date cars. Never seen someone street race with one though," Felix said with a smile. He'd said it intentionally, wondering in which way the luck would swing. Minho entered the room and threw a can toward Felix.
"I can take you out with it sometime." Changbin offered, bowing to Minho as he handed him a drink as well.
Felix's smile grew so wide from those few words. It was so simple but so exciting. It was that risky rom-com type of love he'd always dreamed about. The one that made your stomach flutter.
The best part of scoring a date with Changbin was that Felix got all his friends too. Chris was comforting because he was a reminder of home, and Jisung was Jisung. What was there not to love about him? They gossiped together more times than he could count. Like the time Jisung had told him that Changbin wasn't good at English.
"He should be here in the next ten minutes. His mom is picking on him." Felix had told the racer. He was getting ready for his first race against the group—against Jeongin.
"That's cool," Jisung replied to him in English.
Felix was surprised. "You speak English?" he had asked.
"Yeah. I studied in Malaysia so I used English there. Is it bad?" He looked up to Felix, tilting his head to the side. He was talking about his pronunciation.
"Oh, no! Not at all!" Felix assured the boy with a chuckle. "I was just surprised. Do all three of you speak English?"
Jisung shook his head. "Changbin knows simple conversation but he's not fluent. He doesn't really enjoy studying. Chris and I only use English with native speakers since it's easier for them. That or we want to give them a chance to use the language they haven't used in a while. Depending on where we are."
Felix pouted a bit. He'd wanted to speak English with Changbin because it was easier. His Korean was still shaky. He was better at Japanese if he was honest. Jisung must've read his mind cause he said, "I'm sure if you offered him though he'd say yes." Felix's face brightened up at the information.
After Jisung was beaten by Jeongin, Felix met up with Changbin by the garage. They'd exchanged numbers at the end of the smaller groups first visit. That was their first date. Maybe the most memorable. The tears continued rolling down his face as he relived the day he'd taken a ride around in Changbin's black ford escort. The same car he was driving around early every morning. It was the only way to feel close to him besides sitting in the hospital, but the building wasn't open to visitors for another two hours.
"Woah, you even have leathered seats," Felix said to Changbin as he climbed inside the vehicle for the first time. The seats were black and outlined with blue cross-stitched thread.
Changbin raised his brows and smirked oh-so cockily. "This was my pops car. He got it back in the seventies. I told you it was an escort, right? To be more specific, it's a ford escort Mk1. When they were dating, my mom would stitch things into the seats. So, when they got married and my dad changed to leather, he asked her to thread either blue or purple into them depending on their babies gender. I ended being a guy so, you know, blue it was. It's pretty sick to be honest."
It was unique and cute. They didn't know if their kid would even like cars, but they did it anyway because it reminded them of their love. Felix loved things with deep meanings. Changbin cleared his throat, causing Felix to look away from the cross-stitching. "Was that too much information?" the mechanic asked.
Felix chuckled at the guys red ears and shook his head. "It's pretty romantic," he said.
Changbin seemed to like that response. His tensed arms relaxed and he started the car. "Ain't it? Anyway, I've no clue what's around here. Any suggestions?"
Felix couldn't help but laugh. It felt so natural. The way he spoke was so adorable and endearing. He was so easy to talk to. "I'm a street racer, what'd you think I'd suggest? You're the one that asked me out. Don't you have a plan hotshot?" Felix joked with sass, eyebrow raising.
Changbin scoffed comedically and hummed. He switched into gear and pulled out of the garage. "To be fair, I wouldn't have asked if you didn't give the hint."
Felix leaned his head against the window and stared at the other. His eyes trailed his features while he thought about how to respond. "Aren't you smart, catching onto details like that so quickly." Changbin had glanced over to the blonde quickly before rolling his eyes with a smile. "But you should be careful, you don't want to make me think you just asked me out cause I sent signals. That'll make you sound desperate."
Changbin raised his chin and laughed with his shoulders springing up. Felix was confused. It all explained itself with Changbin's next actions though. He pressed his foot down on the gas pedal and sped up. When a turn came, he yanked the wheel to the right and drifted onto a dirt road Felix had never seen before. Felix, surprised by the sudden action, was forced to lean toward the drivers side. When the car came to a stop, Changbin's face was inches away from Felix's own.
"Don't worry, signal or not, I don't do dating. You're a first. Enjoy it."
Felix couldn't help but bite his lip as he stared into Changbin's eyes. Maybe that was the exact moment he fell in love with Changbin. No, that had been the beginning of his adventure that was falling in love with Seo Changbin. "You sly bastard," Felix cursed with a red face.
Changbin switched the gear and continued driving. Of course, he'd pulled away from Felix's face by then. "I'm from South Korea, what do you expect?" he asked.
"Touché," the blonde added in defeat. He had never met someone who could match his pace. Not with driving nor dating. "You obviously planned out a date. I've never seen this road before. How did you even find it?"
"I asked Minho. You really thought I, the guy with a date car, came unprepared?"
Felix wrinkled his nose. "I thought you didn't date," he teased.
Changbin tilted his head so their eyes met. "I never said I didn't get around, did I?"
Felix shot him a glare. "If I'm another round, you can pull the car over now. I don't waste time on players," Felix said.
The mechanic stopped the car, yanking out the key and unbuckling. "Don't worry, I stopped that shit two years ago. You're safe from being played. Well," Changbin paused, his eyebrows shooting up and falling down a single time. "Unless you want to be played with. I'm pretty good with my hands."
He got out of the car after saying that, leaving Felix completely stunned. He hadn't thought it would turn out like it had so far. Usually Felix controlled the tension. This was different. It was Thrilling and Addicting—and boy did he love it. He pushed open his door and walked over to Changbin who had leaned on the front of his Ford. "So what do you have planned for this date anyway? As nice as your hands are, you'll have to wait to use them on me."
Changbin nodded forward. Felix followed his gaze. It was a view of the city. Since it was somewhat dark by then, the neon lights brightened up the dark area. Felix immediately lit up at the sight. The stars were beautiful too. "It's gorgeous," he whispered.
"You know what else is gorgeous?" Changbin asked. Felix's face grew warm as he met his eyes. "My car," he finished.
Felix rolled his eyes and smacked the others shoulder. Changbin just laughed with an apology. "No, but really. You're gorgeous. How the hell do you manage living in this world? I'm afraid you'll sprout wings any moment and make me atone for my sins."
Felix scoffed and folded his arms over his chest. "Sin all you want darling. Haven't you ever heard an angels kiss cures all wounds?"
Changbin's arm snaked around Felix's waist, his lips moving toward Felix's ear. "Already thinking about kissing me, are you?"
Felix jolted his elbow into Changbin's side. It didn't seem to affect him though. Felix raised a brow and turned his body toward Changbin's. Placing his hand on his chest, he clenched the fabric of Changbin's shirt and pulled it up. He had a six pack. "You aren't shy at all, are you?" Changbin asked.
"No, not really. Mostly curious," Felix answered.
"You know that curiosity killed the cat?" Changbin joked playfully.
"You've gotta choose one, Seo. Am I an Angel or a cat?" Felix tilted his head with a smirk.
Changbin gave a cheerful smile. Felix lost himself in it for a few seconds.
Then Changbin said, "I think you underestimate me, darling. You aren't the only one who can be curious." And then without a second thought, Changbin pulled up Felix's shirt, exposing his abdomen. He seemed impressed by the results. Felix, however, was embarrassed. Which resulted in him pulling down his shirt.
"Asshole," Felix insulted.
Changbin lifted his arms so he could hold them behind his head. "You saw mine. It's a fair trade." Felix ignored the man and looked back out at the city lights. He hadn't seen anything like them before. The only time he had to himself he spent on the track or the road. It was peaceful. "Seriously though, without the flirting, and the joking, you're unfathomably breathtaking. How is someone like you single?"
Felix didn't dare share his eyes with Changbin again. He would lose himself in them and forget to answer the question. "No one caught my eye. Plus, I wasn't ready for anything to start."
Felix closed his eyes and let the crisp night air fill his lungs. He felt free for the first time in a while. A lot more free than when behind the wheel. "And that was because?" Changbin egged on.
"Parents," Felix said simply.
"Are they strict?"
Felix laughed. "Something like that. It's not important. Why do you fix cars?"
Changbin took a few seconds. Felix was left alone in his head while he thought about how to answer. The mention of his parents made his stomach hurt. He hadn't seen them since the day before he turned sixteen. He ran away that day and spent the night at a hotel. Then when it was his birthday he rented an apartment. He'd been working and saving up more than the average teenager should've been. Hell, he'd gotten his first job at twelve. Walking dogs was a lot different than street racing or helping out at nursing homes though.
"I don't know. My dad liked cars so he talked about them a lot. Then I met Jisung and his dad was a mechanic. He's like my second dad so I followed his footsteps. Jisung decided to race and I decided I'd follow him and fix anything he broke. What about you? Why do you race?"
Felix rubbed his fingers together to answer the man's question. He raced for money. It had started out like that anyway. "I met Minho. I guess I enjoyed his company and wanted to seem cool to him. I continued racing because of that as well as the money."
He wasn't lying. He really had continued racing for Minho. He owed it to him for everything he had done over the years. They were very similar in certain ways. Perhaps it was the traumatic family life. What was he even doing out on a date? Like anyone would actually be able to take care of a wreck like him. He was being stupid. The whole idea was stupid. And yet when Changbin grabbed his chin and tilted his head up to the stars, he couldn't help but be thankful for the stupid mistake he had made. If he hadn't made it, he wouldn't have gotten to see such a beautiful night sky.
"Just forget about it all for a while. Disappear from the world with me, yeah? You aren't going to get hurt here. You're safe," Changbin whispered. He released Felix's chin and moved his fingers along his neck, index rubbing the nape of it gently.
All the tension Felix had been holding vanished in a second. "How'd you know?" Felix questioned.
"Minho. I asked him what I should look out for. He not so kindly warned me. I can't exactly avoid the topic since the point of a date is to get to know you. But I can comfort you through it. My mom used to do this to me whenever I was scared," he explained. Of course. What other reason than Lee Minho would he have known about Felix's parent's.
"What'd he say?"
Changbin continued rubbing the spot on Felix's neck. "Just that you ran away from home and your parents were a touchy subject. If I made you anxious or laid a single finger on you, he'd run me over. The usual friendly threats you make to your best friends date."
Felix hummed, eyes closing. Changbin's touch was hypnotizing. He felt like he was going to fall asleep. "You failed both of those."
Changbin laughed quietly. "Can't help it. You get anxious around someone you're interested in. My anxious habit is touching someone. It's my love language," Changbin admitted.
Felix leaned into the others body. He hated touching people and he hated being touched. The whole interaction between them was abnormal for Felix. And yet it was happening. "You're weird," Felix told him.
"Yeah, but I'm a good time. I think you'd be missing out on a lot of fun if you ditched me, Angel."
"Don't worry. I feel like taking in a stray," Felix replied. They spent the next few hours talking about their interest in cars and other random things. Felix liked to think even the stars were jealous of the connection they shared. It was different. He liked it.